Never Stagnate

Stepping into 2012 - hi, blog!

2012-01-03T22:10:00.000-08:00

Training recently has felt very, very good - I can't begin to say how excited that makes me feel! It feels more like play than work, and I've missed that feeling.

I've been on the Paleo Diet since last Tuesday - a week as of today. I've really felt a notable difference with the absence of gluten and, I hate to admit, dairy... I love me my cheeses, milk and ice cream. :( I never realized how often I felt bloated until I got rid of these two food groups. I think, regardless of what diet one follows, it's a good idea for anyone to experiment with how their body responds to certain types of food - it may surprise you.

Tonight's workout was without much rest, and fairly heavy. Everything was completed within 45 minutes.

Warm up:
-2x20 32kg swings
-Single-bell rack walk, 24kg, 1x1 R/L 100 feet

Smack down:
-Turkish get ups: 16kg, 1x3 R/L
-2x20 32kg swings
-Single-bell bottom-up rack walk, 16kg, 1x1 R/L 100 feet
-2x5 16kg Boot-strap squats
-2x5 R/L 70 pound D-ball lifts-to-shoulder
-Single-bell bear crawl, 24kg, 2x30 feet
-Bear crawl to plank to push 100 pound D-ball (Horizontal Press), alternating hands each push, 2x30 feet
-2x5 20kg pull-over sit ups
-2x15 R/L 16kg Russian twists
-Walking hot-potato, 20kg for 100 feet

-3 R/L RKC Hip Flexor Stretch
-Pigeon pose R/L
-Downward dog to cobra

Done! And home to some delicious grilled chicken (don't tell Pavel...) and brussel sprouts.

What a long couple of days!

2011-09-22T22:30:00.000-07:00

Wow. My body is exhausted after the last couple of days of moving my friend from up north back down to this area. It's amazing how much moving takes out of you. However, I went to kettlebell class anyway.

The weather was dreary and everyone was lacking motivation, but we got work done. Renegade rows with 24kgs, 2x5; squat circle with 5 people, went around 4 times progressing 1, 2, 3, 4 reps, 24kg; tall-kneeling MP, 2x5 R/L, 16kg; one bell bear crawls through sand, 24kg; I-go-you-go swings and squats, swings until squatter is done: 10-8-6-4-2, 20kg. And some other stuff too, but I'm tired and it's sleepy time. G'night!

On the exciting new, the begrudged old, and the in-between

2011-08-11T16:35:00.000-07:00

Hello, hello, dear friends and distant bloggers of the world. It's been quite some time since I've shared a word; about ten months, it appears. Why have I been so remiss in keeping my blog up to date?

I could say it's because life has been incredibly full (it has); that I've been busy planning for Doug's and my wedding that is to be in just under 3 months (which I have); that I've had enough going on that I haven't had the time to sort my thoughts and sit with them long enough to write them down (somewhat true); or that training, while still very important to me, has taken a place on the back-burner a couple of times to make space for huge life-altering events (true, too).

All of these things are very true, and they are all valid reasons that I could back up. But I won't. What's the point? I don't like making excuses; it always feels a bit like I'm short-changing the truth. That's not to say that I never do, unfortunately, but... why do it here?

Words are wind. Words are precious. Words are twisted and beautiful and slimy and stunning and weak and powerful. Words are our means of conveying a world of delicate emotion, deep truth, subtle subjectivity. And I, in the midst of so many HUGE events and life-changes, have been remiss in translating the background music that is ever-present during this tremendous dance.

So there is that. This is now:

Wow. I am getting married in 75 days, to an incredible man that supports, loves, and cherishes me in ways that I had only fathomed were possible for myself before him. Am I incredibly excited? Hell yes. Am I a little bit scared? Oh yes. Not for the reasons you might be thinking, though. Before now, the idea of permanence in my life was dedicated solely to those people and matters that are involuntarily assigned to you when you enter this world -- family, for instance. Thankfully, I utterly adore my family, and count them among my greatest blessings in my existence. But I choose Doug. I am choosing to be with him throughout all the days of my life, and I am a little bit scared of the fact that I am woman who is not completely clear on the stuff I'm actually made of.

But, then again: isn't that part of the journey? You find someone who's very good at supporting you while you try to find that secret part of yourself that has all the answers, and knows exactly what your life is and should be. More than that though, you find someone who inspires you to never stop looking for it, and who you will help on that journey every day of your, and their, life.

What a profoundly powerful thing to find... and I am humbled all the time by Doug's love, support and patience with me as I stumble when I'm not doing such a great job at flying.

This being a training blog as well, I will share about my journey in that realm.

I still love lifting heavy things up and putting them back down again. As I said above, it has taken second lately, and that speaks to where my heart and energy have been. I have not been striving for any PRs or tremendous feats of strength; but I lift heavy things up and put them back down again, and I enjoy it. I am surrounded by strongwomen and strongmen who are propelling forward into new territories of incredible strength that require extraordinary focus, diligence, and supreme discipline to achieve, and it is IMMEASURABLY inspiring and impressive. As I have shared in none of these qualities lately, I have not shared in the goal-shattering feats. And this, I have taken to heart.

This has been an immensely important lesson for me. Normally, I will try anything once, but if I am not great at it naturally, I tend to want to drop it and move on to something I am good at. Because of this, I have no completed the Iron Maiden Challenge like I set out to do, and, if I'm being honest, I'm a long way off from it. Why? Because these things aren't my strong suit, and because of it, I haven't been training them as I should. I was born with a strong posterior chain, so I LOVE to deadlift, and I even like swings (heavy ones, that is). I have always been a poor presser, and so I don't press more than a couple times a week -- and guess what? My press is still poor. And when I see others succeeding immensely at what I don't excel naturally in, I feel further unmotivated to be better at it because it doesn't come effortlessly to me.

It's a quitter's attitude, and it fucking sucks. (Whew -- that took a bit of effort to write. Ugly weaknesses are... ugly.)

I have learned SO much from the RKC community, about training, proper movement, rehabilitation, health, attitude and heart. However, some of the greatest lessons I have learned are these: I know next to nothing compared to the many wiser, more experienced individuals that our community consists of; I am not even half as strong as many of the men and women who are my friends, are; I have a lot to learn about mental fortitude and the limitations I can take my body to;

and--above all else--this is absolutely OKAY, so long as the acknowledgement of these things isn't the end of the journey.

Life is a blessedly organic continuum of events, matters, things, people, choices; there are hundreds of thousands of tendrils sprouting from each person's being, branches upon branches bursting from the trunk of a life that has seen countless possibilities come and go. Many of these branches are truncated, because we choose not to nurture them with our energy. Sometimes this is a good thing; we all know there are poisonous situations in our lives that are best unexplored, or best cut loose. There are so many times though where we could create something truly beautiful, something exquisite and uniquely us, if we had only given a little more and tried a bit harder to go beyond what was comfortable.

Nothing grows without sustenance, and nobody's nurturing will be as appropriate for your needs as your own.

And so, here I am. I look at the title of my blog and have to smile, because I know I must have named it thus with a deep, subconscious understanding of my ironic pitfalls.

And so, as I feel myself blooming and exploding forth into new, uncharted territories, with a myriad of options, adventures, fears, hopes, tribulations, successes, all laying quietly quivering with unexplored potential, I find myself turning towards those stunted, stagnated stumps that I have fearfully abandoned before, and feel myself giving to them in a way that I hadn't ever done before. It will not be an effortless thing, giving of myself to these things I've long neglected, nor will it be without its bumps -- but here is my intent, spoken in a time of great change and great opportunity.

And truly, what better time is there than now?

(I want to thank Katherine C., who wrote me an email without having ever met me or knowing me and inspired me to write again and get my ass in gear.)

40 Workouts

2010-10-19T14:42:00.000-07:00

So today marks week 4 of 8 of a program outlined by Dan John and Pavel Tsatsouline, which is referred to as Even Easier Strength.

The idea is to do a minimal amount of work, 5 days a week, on 5 lifts only. Your workload will vary depending on the day, depending on how you feel -- nothing should ever feel too hard, and you should never fail a rep. Generally speaking though, you don't do more than 2 sets of 5 repetitions.

I am almost halfway done with the program, and so I figured I'd post my results thus far. I will write a thorough review once I've completed the program...

Thus far though, I have encountered noticeable strength gains in each of the lifts/exercises I am performing. I foresee this assisting me in my quest to vanquish the Iron Maiden Challenge next year.

Week One

Day One:

- Fat bar DL: 125 lbs. 2 x 5
- Double MP: 12kg, 2 x 5
- Two-hand swings: 16kg, 2 x 25
- Straight-bar bicep curls: 45 lbs. 2 x 5
- Ab roll-outs: 65 lbs., kneeling 1 x 5

Day Two:

- Fat bar DL: 135 lbs. 2 x 5
- Double MP: 12kg, 2 x 5
- H2H swings: 16kg, 2 x 20
- Straight-bar bicep curls: 45 lbs. 2 x 5
- Ab roll-outs: 65 lbs., kneeling 1 x 4

Day Three:

- Fat bar DL: 135 lbs., 1 x 4, 1 x 5
- Double MP: 12kg, 2 x 5
- One-arm swings: 16kg, 1 x 10r/10l
- Straight-bar bicep curls: 50 lbs, 1 x 5; 55 lbs, 1 x 5
- Ab wheel: kneeling, 1 x 5

Day Four:

- Fat bar DL: 135 lbs, 3 x 3
- Double MP: 12kg, 2 x 5
- Two-handed swings: 16kg, 2 x 25
- Straight-bar bicep curls: 60 lbs, 2 x 5
- Ab wheel: kneeling, 1 x 5

Day Five:

- Far bar DL: 140 lbs., 3 x 3
- Double MP: 12kg, 2 x 5
- Two-handed swings: 16kg, 1 x 40
- Straight-bar bicep curls: 65 lbs., 3 x 3
- Ab wheel: kneeling, 1 x 5

Week Two

Day One:

- Fat bar DL: 145 lbs, 2 x 5
- Double MP: 12kgs, 2 x 5
- Double swings: 12kgs, 1 x 20
- Straight-bar bicep curls: 65 lbs., 2 x 5
- Ab wheel: kneeling, 1 x 5

Day Two:

- Fat bar DL: 125 lbs., 2 x 5
- Single MP: 16kg, 1 x 3 r/l
- Two-handed swings: 16kg, 1 x 20
- Straight-bar bicep curls: 65 lbs., 2 x 3
- Ab wheel: kneeling, 1 x 5

Day Three:

- Fat bar DL: 145 lbs., 2 x 5
- Single MP: 16kg, 1 x 5 r/l
- Two-handed swings: 16kg, 2 x 25
- Straight-bar bicep curls: 70 lbs., 2 x 3
- Ab wheel: kneeling, 1 x 5

Day Four:

- Fat bar DL: 150 lbs., 3 x 3
- Double MP: 12kg, 2 x 5
- Two-handed swings: 16kg, 1 x 30
- Straight-bar bicep curls: 65 lbs., 2 x 5
- Ab wheel: kneeling, 1 x 5

Day Five:

- Fat bar DL: 150 lbs., 2 x 5
- Double MP: 12kg, 2 x 5
- Two-handed swings: 16kg, 1 x 25
- Straight-bar bicep curls: 70 lbs., 1 x 4, 1 x 5
- Ab wheel: kneeling, 1 x 5

Week Three

Day One:

- Fat bar DL: 160 lbs., 2 x 5
- Double MP: 12kg, 2 x 5
- Two-handed swings: 16kg, 1 x 40
- Straight-bar bicep curls: 65 lbs., 2 x 5
- Ab wheel: kneeling, 1 x 5

Day Two:

- Fat bar DL: 175 lbs. 1 x 3, 125 lbs 1 x 8
- Single MP: 16kg, 3 x 3 R/L
- H2H swings: 16kg, 1 x 40
- Straight-bar bicep curls: 65 lbs., 1 x 5, 75 lbs, 1 x 2
- Ab wheel: kneeling, 1 x 8

Day Three:

- Fat bar DL: 135 lbs., 1 x 10
- Single MP: 16kg, 2 x 3 R/L
- Two-handed swings: 16kg, 1 x 30
- Straight-bar bicep curls: 75 lbs., 1 x 4, 80 lbs., 2 x 1
- Ab wheel: kneeling, 1 x 7

Day Four:

- Far bar DL: 135 lbs., 2 x 5
- Single MP: 16kg, 2 x 3 R/L
- Two-handed swings: 16kg, 1 x 50
- Straight-bar bicep curls: 80 lbs., 1 x 2, 75 lbs., 1 x 3
- Ab wheel: kneeling, 1 x 5

Day Five:

- Fat bar DL: 135 lbs., 2 x 5
- Single MP: 16kg, 2 x 3 R/L
- H2H swings: 16kg, 1 x 15 R/L (30 total)
- Straight-bar bicep curls: 65 lbs., 2 x 5
- Ab wheel: kneeling, 1 x 7

More to come...

Posture is equally MENTAL as it is physical.

2010-09-25T08:24:00.001-07:00

Training is going well -- my pistols have gotten much stronger in the 4 weeks since I started focusing my training. Very pleased with this... in fact, I dreamed last night about performing flawless, effortless pistols on both legs. So it's in my noggin' to do it flawlessly on both legs! Therefore, I can and will do it. And I will have the 24kg pistol quite soon at this rate.

Since I'm off to work in a bit, I'll make this brief. I was just thinking about posture though.

I've noticed that I tend to slouch much more than I find acceptable: rounded shoulders, tight pecs, stretched rhomboids and traps, among other muscles. It's so important to maintain healthy, proper posture! And not just for the obvious healthful, physical side-effects; it's equally important for our mental health. What are you conveying to yourself and others when you're walking around shrunken in on yourself, as though you have something to be ashamed of or something to hide?

Especially women. We learn early on that if you walk with your chest out, you're probably weighing in too heavily on the hussy scale. And so we walk around with our shoulders rounded over, our chests sunk in, like we have something we ought to be ashamed of. Well ladies -- that's WRONG. We aren't meant to walk around with our thoracic spine in constant flexion, topped off with a chicken neck, or any variation of it. If that were the case, we'd have been born as chickens instead.

Also, for those who tend to sit for long hours at a computer, or anywhere else for that matter: take a look at the posterior tilt of your pelvis that is most likely rockin'. If you've got lower back pain, this is probably why. Get up from your chair every so often, do some fast-and-loose drills, do the hip flexor stretch, move around!

Life's too short to be all bound up, all of the time.

Please: make the commitment to sit up a little straighter, to walk a little taller. Just try it for a week. Who knows? Maybe if you move around and carry yourself with greater confidence, you may feel a direct effect on your mental health as well.

Stop, Start, Continue.

2010-09-18T15:26:00.000-07:00

I know I've been quiet for quite some time. Regardless of whether anyone reads this or not, I think there's a lot of benefit in getting your thoughts written down on paper -- or typed upon a screen.

My life has been filled with many of the grown-up worries that have plagued most everyone to some degree. I'm also at a bit of a crossroads in regards to what I want to be doing with my life. Isn't that such a ridiculously daunting decision when thought of as a life-time commitment? It's the only life that I know that I've certainly got! I wish I had all of my own answers.

As a result, my training suffered for awhile there. Needless to say, I haven't been getting to the gym every day to do deadlifts, and, for the time being, 400 lbs is going to have to be shelved. Not permanently; just for now.

I made a pact with a couple other RKCs, two extremely strong women, that the next time we were all together at a certification, we would attempt and crush the Iron Maiden Challenge. For those of you who aren't aware, the challenge consists of 1 military press, 1 pistol (one-legged squat), and 1 pull up, all with the 24kg kettlebell.

My two cohorts can do two of these things; me? Currently, I can do none.

And that won't stop me.

This lit the fire under my ass; ever since the RKC in San Diego at the end of August, I've been training 5 days a week, and have been doing a lot of pistols and pull ups, though not as many presses as I should be doing.

When I started training, I was having trouble getting the technique for the pistol down; now, I can do them with a 12kg counter weight. I will definitely have the 24kg before long.

I am able to press the 20kg now, and largely attribute my inability to press it for multiple reps to lack of confidence. I believe it's largely mental. I know it's in me to press the 24kg -- it will be more of a mental battle than anything.

The 24kg pull up will be, by far, the most difficult challenge to overcome. I will need the better part of the year that I think I have before we're all at a certification together again to make this happen.

I'm going to be better about chronicling my progress here. I must be held accountable. Considering Pavel was told about our pact, there's even more reason to give nothing less than my best.

In a lot of ways, I feel I've paused for too long, stagnated too much, in several areas of my life. I feel somewhat defeated, nothing at all like the powerful, inspiring woman that I want to be. I will make it my mission to extend this journey of strength into one of spiritual and mental prowess, as well.

Still training

2010-06-13T19:48:00.000-07:00

So I haven't fallen off the bandwagon in regards to training -- just with the updates. :)

I have increased the weight each workout by 5 lbs. as planned, and just deadlifted 225 lbs. x 5 on Friday (which felt easy). I've taken the weekend off, and will be deadlifting again tomorrow. There's going to be a deadlifting competition at the gym Doug and I train at this Saturday, so I think I might do it just for the heck of it, and for the experience.

That's pretty much all there is to say right now. Lata!

I think I found my quads...

2010-06-02T11:07:00.000-07:00

But I didn't know I'd lost them.

Day 4

DL: 1x5, 190 lbs.
1x5, 170 lbs.

MP: 3x1, 20kg

Pull ups: 3x1

Day 5 (My lifts felt weak today; I took the weekend off after this to recover)

DL: 1x5, 195 lbs.
1x5, 175 lbs.

MP: 2x1, 10kg
Swings: 3x15 32kg

Day 6 (Here is where I made an interesting connection)

DL: 1x5, 200 lbs.
1x5, 185 lbs.

MP: 3x1, 20kg
Swings: 3x15 40kg

So it occurred to me while I was walking up to the bar to dead lift it that, sometimes, one rep will feel significantly easier to me than, say, the one immediately prior to it. I know that my deadlift form is good, but there was obviously something that was changing ever so slightly between reps.

I found the following:
- I learned to deadlift with my gaze down and in front of me, with a neutral spine. If I raise my gaze up a few degrees, so that my neck is in slight extension, my lift is stronger.
- My focus is in my heels so much, that I forget about my toes. They never leave the ground, but I don't root my entire foot with my intentions. When I grip the ground with my entire foot, my lift is stronger. Perhaps an obvious one, but I've found that my intention alone has made a huge difference -- like when I grip the ground with my toes, my quads fire much, much more. Strange as it may sound, I've never really thought about my quads when deadlifting; I've always lifted from my glutes. I'm curious to see what happens now...

Here we go

2010-05-28T13:30:00.000-07:00

Life has been amazingly, immensely, endlessly FULL. It has, for the most part, been filled with one incredible thing after another (RKC in Italy, HKC in San Diego, pouring wine at the wine festival in Paso Robles for my aunt and uncle's winery, motorcycle modifications and rides); and of course, things not quite so fun, like finals. I also recently started working part time as a receptionist at a medical office, so that will be filling time, as well.

Something very cool happened last week. For whatever reason, I have had a mental block against pressing anything heavier than the 16kg. I was fairly certain it wasn't a matter of lack of strength, because I can do a Get Up with a 32kg, and I can snatch the 24kg relatively easily; I have even snatched the 32kg once. So, I didn't feel it was a matter of not being strong enough. I certainly didn't trust myself to press it, though.

A couple of days after the La Jolla HKC, where I talked about this issue with Franz and Yoana Snideman, and also with a couple of the participants, Doug and I went to the gym. I did a couple of sets of 5 reps of cleans with the 32kg, and a couple of sets of a couple of reps with the 40kg, and looked over at the 20kg. I decided it was small. Upon deciding that, I cleaned it, and pressed it on both my left and right side. I've gotten it consistently since. :)

So, now that I'm home for awhile, my training will be back on track. I still have every intention of deadlifting 400 lbs., and here's how it's going to happen:

-My current 1 rep max is 305 lbs.
- I am going to follow Pavel's "Power to the People" regimen. For those of you who are familiar with the different cycles, I will be following the Flexible Wave Cycle. This means I started with weight that I can easily do 10 reps with. I will then perform 5 reps with this weight for 1 set, go down to 90% of that weight, and do 5 more reps. And that's it, for deadlifts, for the day. Each day, I will increase by 5 pounds.
- To complement the pulls, I am doing presses, as well. I am also GTG with pull ups.
-I will also be doing heavy swings (meaning swings with a kettlebell that is ≥32kg).

So far:

Day 1
DLs: 1x5, 135lbs.
1x5, 120lbs.
MP: 5x1, 20kg
Pull ups:
3x1

Day 2 (missed a day, so I added 10 lbs)
DLs: 1x5, 145 lbs.
1x5, 130 lbs.
MP: 5x1, 20kg
Pull ups:
3x1

Day 3

DLs: 1x5, 185 lbs. (at this point, I figured this was a better starting point for me)
1x5, 165 lbs.

MP: 5x1, 20kg (I attempted the 24kg with my right side after the 3rd set; it went up halfway. I'll have to try it again fresh...)

Pull ups:
3x1

I am very, very excited to see where this takes me. :)

I've decided

2010-04-25T21:13:00.000-07:00

I want to deadlift 400 lbs.

Training shniz

2010-04-24T09:23:00.001-07:00

It's been an eon or two since I've posted anything on here. I have no excuse really other than I haven't had much I wanted to say, and I haven't really thought about my lack of blogging. I am remedying this now, though.

My workouts have had no real theme to them. I've just been doing what I feel like doing when it comes time to lift some weight. A couple of weeks ago I worked out with a friend and did a standard, bodybuilding-type of gym workout -- it was his "back" day, so I did the same. I have to admit, it was a lot of fun, and it was nice to throw something different in the routine; I was laughing at myself the whole time though. It just felt bad. My joints just did not like the constrictive movements that a barbell, or any other linear device, forces them to follow.

Wednesday I decided to do some deadlifts, since I hadn't in a little while:
185 x 5
225 x 5 x 2
285 x 1 x 2

285 felt heavy, but my form felt very solid, with very few leaks in tension.

Yesterday, Doug and I took advantage of what an incredibly beautiful day it was and went for a hike (Seven Falls). We explored off trail a bit, ended up wandering around for about 2 1/2 hours, and I found out that my hiking boots, after 5 years, have very little traction anymore -- as a result, I ended up quite wet from mid-thigh, down. :) We had a great time though, and we'll definitely be doing more of that.

Today's kettlebell class consisted of:

Warm up (24kg swings, 12kg halos, 16kg around-the-worlds)
-Single bell overheard walk (16kg) ~200 feet, switch sides and go back
-20kg goblet squats, 5 x 2
-Complex (5 reps of each, 16kg for all):
1) Snatch (both sides)
2) Goblet squat
3) Military press
4) Goblet squat

= 1 set; completed 3 sets.

-Complex (10 reps of each, 16kg for all):
1) Two-handed swings
2) Reverse lunge with kb in the goblet position
3) Up-chucks

= 1 set; completed 3 sets.

-16kg:
50 feet: overhead walk
50 feet: rack walk
50 feet: overhead walk
50 feet: rack walk

= 1 set; completed 2 sets.

-24kg one-bell bear crawls x 2
-Farmer's walks: ~100 feet, 20kg and 24kg, switching sides at ~100 feet and returning.
1) First set (200 feet) standard Farmer's walk
2) Second and third sets goose-neck Farmer's walks

-2 sets of 5 windmills

Done.

New Kettlebell Classes

2010-03-04T18:33:00.000-08:00

Hey all,

Starting Monday, March 15th, I will be holding kettlebell classes in Santa Barbara at Arroyo Burro/Hendry's Beach. If you need directions, see the Google Map included in the class schedule to the right.

Classes will be held at Monday and Thursday mornings at 9AM - 10AM, and Monday evenings 6PM - 7PM. We'll see how this schedule works out for everyone, and then we'll go from there.

I'm very excited to be spreading the kettlebell bug that has so changed my life -- and all for the better!

I am so blessed.

2010-03-02T18:44:00.000-08:00

I feel overcome and utterly humbled by the insurmountable, immeasurable amounts of love, support and encouragement that I receive on a daily basis from my dearest, beloved Doug, my incredible, incomparable family, and my wonderful extended family (aka, friends). I know there are so many out there that have so little, perhaps more now than ever in so many ways. Yet here I am, with the most extraordinary support system and foundation that I could ever imagine. How did I get to be so fortunate?

THANK you.

Just be.

2010-02-26T08:34:00.000-08:00

Wow. Life has been busy. It's pretty remarkable how short the days can be -- usually at this time of year I'm celebrating the extension of daylight hours.

By the way... why would you NOT go outdoors when it's sunny out? Why would you ever opt to sit inside? Perhaps because it's routine. Well, I think that's why I do it.

Last week, Doug and I drove up to the Botanic Gardens that was my stomping grounds when I was a kid. We explored the paths and admired the serenity and beauty of stillness, the scent of redwoods and just-rained upon foliage. We went scampering around, and went rock hopping down the creek, trying to touch nothing but rock with our feet (Doug was better at this than I; I just wanted to hop and stomp around with my crusty old waterproof boots :) ). We played, disbanding any curious looks we got from people walking on the paths above with a smile and a wave. It was such fun. What better way to appreciate the big things, than to practice by soaking up the little things, as well?

Make time to do this. Make time to shed the layers of responsibility and obligation, self-imposed and otherwise, and strip yourself of any expectations society might have. Just be. Nurture and love that naked, raw element that makes us who we are, that part that is so often neglected and forgotten. Be still, or play, or do whatever feeds you, and leaves you feeling radiant and full of life. There is always time for everything else, no matter how short the days are; this, you cannot replace, nor substitute.

It's official...

2010-02-08T18:27:00.000-08:00

In 3 weeks, I will have my motorcycle license.

F*ck yeah. :)

Well, I guess that's not very official until it's official. Haha. But I'm signed up for it, and it's going to be awesome.

On a training-related note, tomorrow marks the first day of a 16-week workout regimen that Doug and I will be test driving for Geoff Neupert that targets fat loss. I've seen the first four weeks, and it ain't going to be pretty. Looking forward to the challenge, though!

Gimme some STRUMPH!

2010-01-14T13:30:00.001-08:00

Hello, lovely people. :)

I am back from an amazing vacation, where I came in contact with only magnificent people and adventures. I feel rejuvenated, besides being more tired than I was before the trip since Doug and I were running around all day. My spirit feels full, my heart is happy, and I feel vibrant and ready to take anything on. Well, most of the time.

Last night in kettlebell class I realized something: I haven't been maintaining my strength. I've sort of been fixated on doing a variety of things, which is great... but I love me some strumph. I realized that for most of the things in class, I had just gone back to using the 16kg kettlebell. So last night, every set of swings was with a 24kg, as well as all of the TGUs, the double front squats (those felt HEEEEAVY... I was very displeased), and double rack walks. I will continue to use the 24kg for all that I can in class -- I want to be growing stronger!

I also need to do some more deadlifts again. I must say, having the right music playing is oh so key... normally at the gym we have class out of, there's some crappy punk music blaring, and you just sort of need to phase it out. Or enjoy it if that's your thing, in which case... where are the pink weights? ;) Someone plugged their iPod in and played some metal the other night while I was doing a few sets of DLs before class. I just had 225 threaded on the bar, and was poised, ready to lift, when some excellent chunky metal synchronized with my heart beat. BOOM! Up goes the bar! Rep after rep, no problem. Best feeling ever... well, one of, anyway.

So training is going well. So is eating, might I say. I learned what cut and how to cut up sashimi on our trip, which is ideal since we've been on a huge sushi kick for the last... year? So now we can have it at home! I'd like to attempt making sushi as well... maybe when I'm feeling particularly daring.

Anyway, time to enjoy the lovely weather. I hope the new year has kicked off in an excellent manner thus far, and that everyone is treating themselves well, healthfully, and happily. With much love, and tough love.

Another day

2010-01-01T19:53:00.000-08:00

I had never attempted the SSST (Secret Service Snatch Test) before. After watching Doug do 45 minutes of Turkish Get Ups without rest with a 24kg (solid all the way through! So awesome to watch!), it felt right to do 10 minutes of work.

We set the GymBoss at 1 minute increments, and I did 10 snatches R/L at the top of every minute. In this way, I ended with 210 reps (added 5 R/L in the last set) at the end of 10 minutes.

I wasn't going for numbers, so much as overcoming the mental mindf*ck aspects of the SSST. Now that I've done that, I'm going to keep doing it, and eventually reach 300 reps. I have no doubts I can achieve this.

On another note, I've been thinking a lot about writing lately. My mind has been teasing the idea of a novel... we'll see what unfolds in this year...

And a F***in' Happy New Year!

2009-12-26T12:59:00.000-08:00

Get the juices flowing:

Around-the-worlds, swings, overhead walks

Circuit: Each station, 30 seconds, followed by 20-30 seconds of rest

(Rounds 1 & 2)
-Standing hot potato, 16kg
-Rope waves, 1 1/2, 50 foot rope
-Two-handed swings, 16kg
-Rotational lunge with 16kg in the goblet hold
-Military press 3 R/L, 16kg

(Rounds 3 & 4)
-"Mashed Potato" - Standing hot potato, down into a front squat, and up again, passing the kettlebell back and forth continuously - 16kg
-Undulating rope waves
-One-arm swings; L arm 3rd round, R arm 4th round - 16kg
-Heartbeat lunges
-Around-the-world, 16kg

(Rounds 5&6)
-Seated Russian twist, 16kg
-Rope standing hip toss
-Alternating swings, 16kg
-Seated hot potato, 16kg
-Standing hot potato, 16kg

Done.

Merry Christmas, and a motherf***in' happy new year :)

Nikki, I did it! :) 20kg Snatch Test

2009-12-09T16:43:00.001-08:00

It's been awhile since I set this goal for myself; I don't remember exactly when, but I know Nikki and I swore to each other that we would do it by this coming February.

I set up the video camera today while Doug did some clubbell exercises, and set out to do the Snatch Test with the 20kg bell. I finished at 4:56, and didn't tear my hands, though they were pretty hot.

I recently read the quote, "To err is human... to err at a critical moment is printer." Apparently, this applies to video cameras, as well.

I'm very loathe to say it... the camera died before I finished the test. :( SO aggravating! Doug watched the whole thing though, and my 97th rep sucked, and needed to be redone. I finished the test with 4 seconds to spare.

I've experienced shakey legs before; until now though, I've never experienced shakey traps.

Thanks to Doug for the tutelage and support, and thanks to Nikki for the motivation and inspiration! :)

And now: Corn Huskers.

Snatches, complexes and circuits

2009-12-03T07:10:00.000-08:00

-RKC Snatch Test (16kg): 100 reps in 3:45

-Complex (16kg): 5 one-armed swings, 5 high pulls, 5 presses, 5 rack squats; R/L = 1 set, repeat 4 more times.
-Circuit (16kg when applicable): Seated tornado ball for 1 set, standing against a wall the other 3 sets; one bell bear crawls 10 yards; standing hot potato; 8 lbs. sledge hammer strikes against a tire. Timer was the bear crawler, so roughly 20-23 seconds. Rinse and repeat 3 more times.

I leave for the Midwest for my grandmother's funeral today. I don't really know what to say... I still feel sort of numb. It comes of waves. Grieving never has rhyme or reason to it.

Beach workout and some

2009-11-22T12:56:00.000-08:00

- 12kg arm bar 2 R/L, ~30 second hold
- 24kg swings, 20 reps, 2 sets
- 16kg overheard walk 1 R/L, ~50 yards
- 20kg bear crawl (two bells) ~25 yards x 2
- 16kg tall-kneeling military press, 5 R/L x 2
- 16kg rotational press in the lunge position, 5 R/L x 2
- 16kg standing military press, 5 R/L
- 24kg goblet squat, 5 reps x 3
- 16kg in the goblet hold: reverse lunge, both knees to the ground, back to a lunge, stand up. 3 R/L x 2
- 16kg in the goblet hold: reverse lunge, rotate 180 degrees, stand up. 3 R/L x 2
- 16kg Feldenkrais lunge: kb in the rack, reverse lunge, rotate 180 degrees, stand up. 3 R/L x 2
- Double 16kg Feldenkrais lunge, 3 R/L x 2
- 20kg H2H swings, 30 reps x 2
- Tall-kneeling hot potato, 16kg, 0:50

I'm nearing the end of school, and it's nose to the grindstone. All is well though; life is very good for the most part. Tragedy has struck my family in the form of terminal cancer in my grandma's lungs. Healthy as can be, a very young 89 years lived... it's a little bit surreal right now. I will be going back to Kansas in December after school is out to spend some time with her. Life is so unpredictable; cherish those you love, and try not to take them for granted.

Last night's workout

2009-11-19T11:09:00.000-08:00

-~30 second arm bar x 2 each side
-Deadlifted 225 lbs. 5 times because it was just sitting there asking to be lifted.
-24kg 20 swings x 2
-Around-the-world, 10 each way
-16kg overheard walk 50 yards x 2
-16kg single kettlebell bearcrawl 15 yards x 2

Circuit 1 (20 second rounds):
-24kg two-handed swings
-8 lbs sledgehammer strikes against 600 lbs tire; ~15 strikes in 20 seconds
-Rest
-Seated 8 lbs. tornado ball strikes side-to-side
-Sled push ~20 yards; kept pushing until time was up
-24kg goblet squat
-16kg seated hot potato

Completed 2 rounds.

Circuit 2 (20 second rounds):
-20kg one-handed swings
-8 lbs sledgehammer strikes against 600 lbs tires; ~15 strikes in 20 seconds
-Rest
-Seated 8 lbs. tornado ball strikes side-to-side
-16kg mashed potato (hot potato + front squats)
-16kg reverse lunge to kneeling to lunge to standing
-16kg pull-over sit ups

Completed 2 rounds.

Solid.

Each time we live...

2009-11-06T10:39:00.000-08:00

How does one respond to the question: What is the meaning of life?

The question has become as cliché as it is profound. It is a thought owned by extremes: Starry-eyed protagonists, gazing off into a perfectly lighted landscape, expel contemplative sighs as they muse; a studious youth sits beneath the glow of a single lamp in the small hours of the morning, eyes heavy with fatigue that is of more than the body, staring at numbers and words that blur together, because... ; a single individual plants her hands against the countertop of the twenty-four hour deli and leans heavily, head hanging, thinking of her bed, of her little ones at home; a mouth agape with fury, hatred, arms of will wielding arms of destruction, seeming so distant in its pixelated form on the evening news...

The stories are many. They are, in fact, infinite. The question presented is far more than a question - it is a method. It is reason. It is the heart of the soul.

Religion, politics, friendship, family, lovers, goals, ambitions - what we seek as a people. Stability. Solidity. Clarity. Meaning. And at the heart of it all: Love.

Yes, the answer is also a bit trite, in the repetition of it. Words can often be as much. But the application of it...

It's SO easy to hear words and understand their meaning and value on a superficial level. We are intelligent creatures, and are able to process information well. Utilizing it, and feeling it in our soul, in a deeper way, within our higher selves... that's something else.

Why do we do what we do? Why do we wake up to the alarm clock and go to work, school, or any other obligation? Why do we conform to the limits of society? (Well, that's another topic entirely...) The question remains: What' s the point?

Someone asked me once to tell them the meaning of life. I answered that there is no single meaning, that it is left to each of us to determine our own meaning. True, in my opinion, but only partially, and there is a huge flaw in that naked statement.

Yes. LIVE as you WANT to live, and pursue what feeds and fills you, and create your own meaning, individual and unique and beautifully sculpted to you. But why? Why do we continue to live, to fall, to fail, and more importantly, to stand back up and strive onward?

I read this line this morning, and it just encompasses the solution perfectly to me:

Because each time we live, we get to love again.

Ahhh. Yes. Yes...

Every time we fall to our knees; every time we watch a dream slip out of our fingers; every time we look about at the havoc we have wrought, and feel that knot tighten in our core, and the fluttering of our fragile, frightened heart; every time we feel anger or confusion or sorrow or grief and we have no clue where to go... If we keep the gateway to our heart open, then there is only one way to go, and that is up. Because each time we fall, there is the knowledge that love will continue to be the possibility that we make it to be. Love for a companion, a family, friends; love for passion of life, goals, ambitions, dreams, hopes; love for a god, gods, an eternal afterlife, salvation. Love, in its true form, will never harm; that is only in the nature of attachment. It is that eternal second chance at something, anything. We only ever fail when we extinguish the possibility of love--because of anger, hatred, vengence, sorrow, discontent, which are all the children of fear--and thus, allow our heart to wither. And so we choose life.

I feel as though I've had this revelation so many times. Yet each time I have it, it is just as profound and powerful as it was before. It is so easy to forget the power of true understanding and utilization. I am so grateful to the universe and to the opportunities I have and the people in my life for being so patient. How fortunate...

How beautiful.

Educators abound

2009-10-21T14:50:00.000-07:00

Sometimes people enter our lives for the sole purpose of being our teachers. In some situations, it's incredibly easy to discern who these teachers are - they usually are our mentors in some form or fashion, on a physical, mental, and/or emotional level. These mentors are precious, and if you can open yourself up fully to absorb what is unknown to you, you will be all the greater for it.

What I'm referencing in particular though, are those people that just piss you the fuck off; that wound you with hurtful criticisms that are completely seemingly unfair or unfounded; that sadden you with abusive displays; that cause you to puff your chest up and lift your nose high with self-imposed superiority. These people can be drifters that pass through your existence but briefly, or can be rooted deeply in your layout of important individuals.

The truth is, we can never control another human being, nor can we expect them to be any other than what they are. We can try to pick and choose who we want to be our friends; but, let's be honest, most of us don't. And perhaps, maybe we shouldn't.

Unless someone is being abusive or leaves you feeling drained of your vital energy, then, more often than not, any interaction can serve to be educational and beneficial.

The other day I was in a grocery store, grabbing a bag of lettuce for dinner, and was standing in line with my motorcycle helmet in tow. A man got in line behind me, and said in what I perceived to be a rather condescending, belittling tone, "You know, you could have just left the helmet outside with your bike. It's not like anyone is going to steal that thing." I turned and looked at him and asked, rather prickly, what the hell that was supposed to mean. And he responded, sharing a look with the cashier like he was in on some little secret, "Oh, I can't imagine what I could mean by that." I responded that my boyfriend was circling around on the bike, and had to take my helmet, and so he apologized. I turned back to the cashier, whom was looking rather chagrined at this point. Grabbing my bag of groceries, I turned back to the gentleman in line behind me and coldly said, "Next time, you might want to think twice before you open your mouth." He smiled, and wished me a good day, and I left, feeling my feathers continue to ruffle.

I'm still not entirely sure why he said what he did -- aside from the fact that my helmet is rather badass :), I couldn't understand what he would go out of his way to say that, unless I somehow interpreted it wrong. Yet my initial response was defense, and I chose anger, rather than embarrassment or melancholy.

The truth is this: that's something I needed to work on, and I failed to recognize this man as an educator, but rather, saw him as an instigator. I don't take criticism well, and I certainly wasn't fond of some stranger offering it as I saw it. What better way though to become more well-rounded and more complete as a person than to seize every opportunity I can get to iron out the wrinkles? The less I feed the superficial ego, the more the underlying depth and substance can be nourished. What I don't feed the ego will certainly feed my being, and that's all those inflamed responses are: my ego trying to protect itself. Whose ego ever truly made them happy, though? Just a thought.

So next time, even if I don't say it outright, I'm going to try to think, "Wow, thank you for giving me an opportunity to work on this! How awesome."

I gleefully carved a pumpkin on Sunday, the second one of my life. Doug and I went to a pumpkin patch in town, and I took a good 15 minutes to pick out my pumpkin. We came home and went to carving; I might have been a bit obsessive about mine, so thanks to Doug for his tolerance and good humor :) It's so important to partake in play with abandon!

Rawr. :j

The Nepodal Pull

2009-10-13T22:01:00.000-07:00

The rarely seen Nepodal Pull.

Tough Love - of the pulling variety

2009-10-12T21:20:00.000-07:00

Holy crapola. Training tonight was diverse and rough. Since we've been training at Fueled, we've had access to a lot of nasty tools: huge tires, sleds, rubber plates, etc.

Tonight's lineup:

-Warmed up with 2 sets of armbars; Get ups with 24kg kb, 3 sets of singles each side; 2 sets of deadlifts, 225 lbs., for 5 reps.
-4 sets of 16kg snatches, 10 reps each set. I've been pretty mellow with the snatches, easing back into them because my hands still feel a bit tender at times (particularly after deadlifts)
-The Circuit of the Eve :)
1) Goblet squats, 16kg
2) Sled pulls, 50 yards (this was the timer)
3) Hot potato, 16kg

A little elaboration on the sled pulls: For one other participant (Dale) and myself, we had to pull a 45 lbs. plate - oh, and yes, for the first 25 yards, we had to pull Doug on the sled as well :) So... 235 lbs? That's tough love! And oh so excellent. (The owner of the gym liked the spectacle, so I should be getting a video of that posted soon).

Completed two sets this way, then did two sets of the following:

1) Military press, 16kg
2) Sled push - 45 lbs.
3) Swings, 16kg

The pushes did not include the Dougie mass this time, but were very difficult. Everyone rocked it, though!

-One-arm, one-leg planks. 2 sets on each side, 25 seconds a set.
-Hardstyle sit ups, 2 sets of 5 reps

Finito.

The variation from the norm was a killer, but it felt awesome. And I will definitely continue to feel it tomorrow, I'm sure!

This is interesting...

2009-10-08T17:54:00.000-07:00

I was just perusing my blog, curious to see where I was at a year ago in my training. Coincidentally, I came across a post that was made on October 11th, and found these goals within it (whatever is in bold are comments I've just made):

-Get RKC Certified in August, 2009. Check
-Train for the RKC Cert. I plan on doing a damn good job of roasting that beast and eating it whole. Passed. Turns out I was the one to be roasted in 102 degrees, though.
-Snatch the 24kg 20 times with each arm. I'm at 9 right now. Check
-Barbell Deadlift 285 lbs. After that, 300 lbs. Check, and check (305 lbs)
-Cut. I've made a lot of progress, but I keep hitting this plateau. My diet keeps slipping back into maintenance. Outline of the abs ain't enough -- I want the whole package! Check-ish. Have lost and gained and lost since then. Still losing.
-Increase shoulder and chest strength. Everything else tends to get stronger without any problem and I maintain that strength, but these two areas need particular attention -- so they'll be getting it. Definitely gained strength, though more is on the way.
-15:15 Max V02 Protocol. I have not delved into this one much.
-Master the pistol. Still working on this one, too.
-Incorporate more pull-ups into my routine. Check, as of recently.

So, overall, I'm actually quite pleased with that. Within a year, I have accomplished the majority of the goals I had then set out to undertake. Honestly, that feels quite good; I can't help but feel like I'm stagnating on gains and hitting plateaus every so often.

I've come to the conclusion that I haven't been writing enough. Not on this blog, but more importantly, not on a creative level. I definitely need to get back into that, and keep those juices flowing strong.

Workout last night consisted of 5 minutes of TGU with 16kg, followed by 4 sets of 10 yards of tire flips with 20 swings at the end (16kg). Did pull up/press ladders 1, 2, 3 x2, pressing the 16kg. Had some assistance with pull ups, especially at the end. Finished the workout with some good ol' Russian twists and a couple sets of hot potatoes.

Anyway, I intend to be posting more. I also plan on getting a video up of me deadlifting 305 lbs. or more.

Deadlift PR and then some

2009-09-23T21:46:00.000-07:00

I'm very stoked to say that I finally broke 300 in my deadlift. Tonight I did a five reps with 225 to find that they felt quite light. I attempted to lift 305 last Friday, after a few sets of 225 and then being a little overzealous and trying 315 twice--failed, obviously. It didn't go up, though it did come off the ground.

So, I successfully locked out 305 lbs. tonight. I think I could probably do 310 or 312, but I'm going to keep it here for awhile and work with it.

Prior to this, I had not deadlifted in 4-5 months. All I have been doing is kettlebells. It simply goes to show that kettlebells will make you STRONG. :)

I celebrated my PR by doing some snatches with a 16kg kettlebell (which felt extremely light), and then a short circuit with Doug: 135 lbs. sled pulls for 30 yards, immediately followed by 3-5 presses R/L. Did 3 sets of forward-facing sled pulls, then 2 sets of rear-facing ones. With all the tension drills, I was seeing stars a little bit by the end... it felt fantastic, though.

I'm feeling pretty good right now; it always feels amazing to accomplish a goal that you've been working towards. Now, just to keep getting stronger!

Fit, Fancy 'n' Fat

2009-09-13T14:58:00.000-07:00

What a whirlwind of fantastic events. The RKC certification weekend is three weeks past; that simply boggles the hell out of my mind. It took me about a week and a half to fully recover, and training has been going quite well since.

In recent workouts:

-I did a double TGU the other day with two 16kg kbs. That was tough, but I got it done.
-A Neupert-esque doubles workout, using 12kg: 5 sets of 5 reps of each - swings, snatches, cleans, presses, front squats. 125 reps. Followed by 100 snatches with the 16kg kb.
-Worked Viking Presses and C&Js in class yesterday. For some reason my right arm intermittently doesn't straighten out during the second dip, and only does upon standing up tall. I dropped the weight to two 12kg, and that seemed to help. I'll be working that frequently to get the right wiring for it ingrained.

One thing that I find is important to keep in mind when doing any kind of double overhead activities: the finishing position of your hips is the SAME as the finishing position for your swing. Shocking! Don't visualize your hips going up with the weight (which will lead to your heels coming up off the ground and a general loss of hip drive); think about the tight contraction and drive of a Hardstyle swing, and those bells will go just where they need to.

Yesterday I had my consultation with Jess Yen at My Tattoo down in Alhambra. I first saw him at the Ink 'n' Iron Festival in Long Beach earlier this year, and had been instantly taken by his work. This man's work is jaw-droppingly beautiful. He recently won an award in New York under the category of "Best Tattoo Artist in the United States" for "Most Eye-Catching Tattoos", along with numerous other awards throughout the years. I spoke with him for about 45 minutes; he's a genius at what he does, and his energy is awesome. We hit it off and talked about some ideas that are going to be absolutely fantastic. It's a two year waiting list for an appointment, but I'm hoping that I might be able to get in there a little bit earlier. We'll see. Regardless, I'm 150% sure about the process.

Doug and I are going through a detox process for the next few weeks. We had decided that after the certification that we would have a day to basically eat whatever we wanted, and just have fun with it. That didn't happen - until today. French Toast is all I have to say. :) So worth it!

San Diego RKC: Enjoy the pain!

2009-09-01T00:25:00.000-07:00

I’m not really sure how to go about describing what has not even begun to settle within my own mind. I really want to write this while the feelings are still raw though, and thus, I make my attempt.

I went into this weekend knowing that it would be grueling, and would test my limits physically, mentally and emotionally. I knew I would constantly be beyond comfort, and would be perpetually stretching to accommodate vast amounts of knowledge, and a lot of pain. I was also told by many that this would prove to be a turning point in my life.

I knew what I expected. I received excellent instruction for the better part of a year and a half, and I knew I was prepared for what I expected.

So… howz about for what I did NOT see coming? :)

You take what you get, and you make it your own. I got what I dreaded: extremely hot weather; roughly 102 degrees on both Friday and Saturday, to be more precise. Twenty-three hours of training in 2 ½ days in mind-melting conditions, pushing through fatigue and heat exhaustion. My core temperature would not come down, and as a result, neither would my heart rate. I woke up in the middle of the night with my heart still pounding. I took ice baths to try to regulate my body temperature at lunch time. I have hiked the Himalayas, humping around a 50 pound pack while battling intestinal parasites, and I kid you not, this weekend took me to the next level.

Before it sounds like I’m complaining, I must assure you: Given the choice to do the weekend over and change certain aspects, I would repeat the weekend exactly as it was without hesitation. It was absolutely what it needed to be for me, and as a result, was just perfect. Never would I have thought I could have pushed through those conditions – but I did.

And how amazing is it to be surrounded by 100+ people who are suffering right along with you, individually and as one huge mass of pain? Individuals who are thinking of nothing but about the task at hand? To have such incredible energy focused on ONE goal, in ONE space, at ONE time – that is beautiful power! Desperate, determined, dogmatic, and strong as hell. When you’re laying on swampy ground on your belly, grit digging into your elbows, the sun beating on your head and back, your taped hands hot and painful, sweat drenching your clothes, your body vibrating with exertion and exhaustion – and yes, EVERYONE is feeling this, separate and together. This makes sense on so many levels, and this ideology is worth every ounce of effort put forth. Such sadomasochism on such a grandscale, all for the strong belief that this is IT. This is the real deal. This pain only helps to bring us deeper into the body and to know ourselves and our limits – and to come out of the pain with a greater understanding of both aspects, both thoroughly altered and transformed. Because we did it.

I want to interject here to say thank you very much to Dave Whitley, Senior RKC, for helping to provide me with the RKC weekend that proved to be perfect for me. Kirsten, Rhonda, and Ken: Each and every one of you were fantastic Team Assistants, and I truly feel lucky to have had each and every one of you there. All of you have wonderful qualities that I deeply admire, and each of your presence contributed enormously to the experience, and to the cohesion of our team. Thank you to everyone on my team who made this weekend what it was: it was an honor to bleed, sweat, and enjoy the pain with all of you! Power to us.

Thank you so much to the Santa Barbara crew that was able to go through the RKC. I’m proud to say that the four of us that went from the SB Crew all passed. It’s been a long journey, one that we’ve worked so hard together on, and we yearned for this weekend for so long; it’ll be interesting to see where that energy is directed now. I hope simply to greater things! The only thing that would have made it better is if you had been able to be there, Dale. Much love and power to you, I called upon your incredible pressing skills more than once, especially during the grad workout, and I respect and admire you. We’ll continue kicking ass together!

Thank you to my Mama and my sister, Erika, for driving down to watch me suffer through the Grad Workout, to root me on, and to meet me at the finish with open arms and jubilant laughter. Your presence meant the world to me; sharing one family with another.

To wrap this up.

The Grad Workout: When it came to the Graduation Workout, workout number eleven of the weekend, I completely let loose. I screamed between sets as I practiced fast-and-loose drills, doused myself in icy water provided by fantastic and attentive assistants – I especially remember Nikki Schlosser and Rhonda – and powered through it. And there, always close by while still being attentive to each of his team members, was Doug Nepodal, also cooling me off, rooting me on, calling me by name, promising me that he knew I could do this. Somehow, passing that beat-up orange construction cone was magical. Somehow, a piece of plastic and rubber can inspire such a sense of victory, relief, and self-loving that is unparalleled. I did more than I thought I could have done, and I completely made it my own. To the RKC Community, to Pavel, to John Du Cane, to the Instructors: I am ever so thankful for the opportunity to become more than I have ever been.

And I must dedicate this weekend of pain to more than just our accomplishments…

Doug, baby, my love. Roughly sixteen months ago I met you, when I was introduced to kettlebells. I have not looked back since. My life started to change then, even. Your profound influence, incredible instruction, support, encouragement and gentle urging made this past weekend possible for me. You paid for me to go through the certification because I could not afford to do so, and you knew how much I wanted to do this, and, so importantly to me, you wanted me there. When I felt overcome by heat exhaustion and dehydration, you were there beside me, looking me in the eyes with truth in yours as you told me that I was doing so well, and I could do this. I am so immensely proud and immeasurably grateful to have you in my life and by my side. I cannot thank you enough for all that you have given me in all aspects of my life, and for the immense growth you’ve inspired in me as a person. You are a phenomenal instructor, mentor, best friend, and incredible love. From the bottom of my heart, thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you bebe.

Power to us. Enjoy the pain!

Cert's here

2009-08-27T08:48:00.000-07:00

I'm nervous as hell, but prepared to do whatever it takes. This will be another opportunity for me to crack my shell and grow beyond it.

Time to do this. I hope to return with a tale of victory. :) Take care, everyone!

Brief

2009-08-16T23:18:00.000-07:00

I took it very easy this last week with training. Both shoulders were feeling a bit painful in the same spot, and my entire body just seemed to be recovering slowly. Feeling well rested and up to snuff, I did the snatch test yesterday and completed it in 3:55 without too much effort; did some TGU with the 24kg, slow and controlled; some snatches with the 24kg; and the rest of the six basics with a 16kg bell. Everything felt solid.

The next two weeks before the cert will consist of a very clean diet and workouts to maintain conditioning/strength. I was hoping to get a VO2 Max workout in, 15:15: protocol, prior to the certification, but at this point I don't want to play around with tearing my hands up with less than a fortnight until Judgement Day(s). I'm nervous, but ohhhh so excited... :)

"Transanni"

2009-08-11T17:05:00.000-07:00

It's said that when one door closes, another will open. Why the choice? It seems it's strangely difficult for doors of a similar function to remain open simultaneously, as though the allowance of a cross breeze would be, somehow, intolerable. I think being of the mind that change--namely of the homebase variety--is a difficult adjustment, my frustration with the state of certain things is to be expected.

It's all right, though. Change can be a beautiful transformation as well, and this I know. Even as we change, we can continue to enjoy and take pleasure out of the things we always did, while releasing that which no longer has a place, or has been outgrown. Throwing oneself down a 100' self-made, painters' plastic slip 'n' slide with no stopping buffer at the end but your own ability to grab the ground is still an option. Releasing and laughing with abandon, having pure, unadulterated fun, is--and will always be--an option.

Frustration is definitely high in regards to my presses. For whatever reason, while essentially every other exercise of the six basics is very solid, my press is just... weaker. It doesn't come to me as easily, and I guess as a result I have just ingrained this resistance to growing stronger in that area within myself. I can't get beyond the 20kg 'bell, and it drives me nuts. I can't push myself now, though. My body is exhausted: my left shoulder is feeling tender and painful; right hip flexor is tight; left periformis is fired up; arches of my feet are tight from double complexes on uneven turf; low back is tired from moving in low spaces. Long story short, I need to take it easy, particularly since the certification is in 2 1/2 weeks.

Bring it, though. Even when you have the most amazing support that you could ever hope for -- and I do, absolutely, more than I could have ever hoped for -- there are challenges. Shit, things are hard sometimes; so? Get stronger! And enjoy it. Having fun with it is much more rewarding than resenting it. Just know yourself, love yourself, push yourself, and become more.

Okay--

2009-08-07T17:39:00.000-07:00

--I am now officially nervous about the San Diego cert. Gulp.

A couple of goals

2009-07-26T18:12:00.000-07:00

[Bruno ze Frenchie]

A few things to strive for in regards to training:

-Complete the new Snatch Test (100 reps in 5 minutes) with the 20kg kettlebell
-Do 200 snatches in 10 minutes with the 16kg kettlebell
-Snatch the 32kg kettlebell
-Press the 24kg kettlebell
-Learn the pistol

1. Complete the new Snatch Test (100 reps in 5 minutes) with the 20kg kettlebell:
I'm fairly certain I can already do this. I attempted it a couple of months back, and stopped at 78 reps with 1:20 to go due to hot hands, and haven't done it since. I'm going to get this done before the certification next month.

2. Do 200 snatches in 10 minutes with the 16kg kettlebell:
I believe I can do this, too. I haven't attempted it yet, and I know it's a huge mental exercise along with a feat of endurance. So um, I might be being a little bit optimistic. I'll be shooting for this one in the next week or two.

3. Snatch the 32kg kettlebell:
Is it ballsy to say that I think I've got it in me? I snatched the 28kg 'bell at the LA Fit Expo in January. I'm going for it, though; just need to make sure the hands are fresh, and I'll be doing a negative press from the top to the rack.

4. Press the 24kg kettlebell:
This one I'm definitely a little be ashamed of. For all my other feats, my press tends to be my weak point; a certain someone seems to think it's in my head, and I'm inclined to agree to a degree. Recently my presses have gotten a lot more solid due to a tweak in my breathing pattern that's caused me to be much tighter. A lot of presses need to be done; this one might have to wait until after the cert.

5. Learn the pistol:
This is something I've always meant to work on, have said I'll work on, and never do. I'm not quite sure how I'm going to train this, but I'll post when I get some tips and suggestions from a more knowledgeable source.

Also, I did a get up with the 32kg kettlebell again yesterday after having not for a month or so, and it felt very solid. I'll keep with this weight for a bit, and then look into maybe trying something a little heavier...

Oops

2009-07-15T18:42:00.000-07:00

Well... I may have gotten a bit behind in my updating of the blog. I haven't felt inspired to write for awhile; it doesn't help that the schedule continues to be very full, largely in a very good way.

(And yes, going to Hawaii was part of that! That was last month... holy @*&%)

There isn't a great deal to report. I went to Ohio with Doug this last weekend to visit his family, and also to attend the workshop that he and his fellow instructor, Dave Whitley, Senior RKC , held in Medina (photos of the workshop are at the end of this blog). It's always valuable to have another pair of eyes watching what you're doing, particularly when you're planning on becoming a certified training in the next month. There are a few minor things I need to iron out, and I appreciate the instruction!

My training has been a little bit inconsistent recently. I'm maintaining my strength, but I need to step it up a bit, especially since the cert. is a mere 6 weeks away.

Anyway, I'll write more later. I plan on being much more on top of updating this blog, particularly with my preparation for the upcoming cert. in San Diego.

Enjoy the slideshow!

32kg TGU

2009-05-26T18:49:00.000-07:00

Today's workout consisted of one heavy TGU with a 32kg 'bell (see video), which felt really heavy, followed by a circuit that went as follows:

(Each station was 30 seconds):

-Rope undulations

-Goblet squat, 16kg 'bell

-Swings, 16kg 'bell

-Standing hot potato, 16kg 'bell

I was feeling out of sorts today, so I only did three sets. Definitely got the heart pumping, though.

Here be the video:

Life is a little crazy right now, but a lot of exciting changes are unfolding as well. I'm looking forward to the next couple of weeks though -- moving into a new place, an upcoming vacation to Hawaii, and a lot of other good stuff. :) More later!

It's official

2009-05-21T18:39:00.000-07:00

I'm signed up for the San Diego RKC Cert. :) Oh yes! Thank you to Doug, SO MUCH, for spotting me and making this possible! I know the whole Santa Barbara crew is going to kick ass because of his excellent tutelage and support.

2009-05-17T19:06:00.000-07:00

The end of the semester has resulted in a lot of stress. Big surprise! I have four finals in the next three days, and then I'm done with school for the spring. My brain is thoroughly fried, and I feel like throwing it all away, but I'm almost there. I just need to keep my mind on the benefits on what I'm doing, and not get caught up in how overwhelming the long-term plans seem to be.

I am so blessed. I have a wonderful, incredibly loving boyfriend that, amazingly, adores me as much as I adore him; an immensely supportive and adoring family; a place to live, despite the transitional stage that's been in; a healthy mind and body to function from and in; access to an education; and an infinite amount of goals and dreams to accomplish and strive for. Sure, things don't always feel great, but when I count what I've really got and what truly matters, I'm really humbled.

I've been feeling a little overwhelmed by the prospect of medical school--again. I'm going to attribute this largely to the vast quantities of stress that I've been dealing with in the last few weeks, which resulted in me wondering if this is what I want to be going through for approximately the next ten years. It's a challenge, and there are some things about it that I'm not happy with at the moment... which is why I simply need to face the challenge, and make this my own by adapting to it, or making it work for me. Either way, I will not be a victim to something that should be my passion.

Training has been going well. Today was a nice kicker, short but solid. I only had access to a 16kg 'bell, so I did:
-6 minutes of TGU
-3 sets of 40 swings
-3 sets of front squats, 5 R/L
-2 sets of MP, 3 R/L

We did a KILLER workout yesterday in class at the beach. Really tough, we all were feeling it, and we even had a puker. :) Usually a good sign that it's a mean workout in the nicest of ways.

The Warrior Diet has been going well. I feel like I've FINALLY gotten the balance that I've been seeking, which makes me happy. I'm leaning down again which, if I don't sabotage myself, will result in a very happy me.

My cousin got married last weekend, which is where the pictures were taken. Mary Lou, I promised you I'd get him dressed up nicely and that I'd send you a picture -- enjoy! :)

I've been getting bad about updating this thing...

2009-05-03T23:28:00.000-07:00

To start: X-Men Origins: Wolverine -- HORRIBLE. Cliches up the wazoo, and each of them painful and distasteful; over-the-top action, poorly executed CGI. My advice would be to wait until it comes out on DVD, rather than spending nearly ten bucks on it.

I've really been enjoying get ups recently. I'm planning on getting a video up in the next couple of days of the 32kg get up I've been working; it's been getting easier each time. Heavy get ups are so good!

I've gotten 100 snatches with the 16kg down to 3:45 pretty consistently, so now I'm going to work on 100 snatches with the 20kg in under 5:00 instead.

Today I did six minutes of get ups with a 24kg 'bell, followed by about an hour of indoor top-rope rock climbing. A certain someone very sweetly bought me an awesome pair of climbing shoes, and the difference was huge. Thank you, babe. :)

I'm SO excited that the San Diego RKC cert. is actually happening! Going through it is going to be a fantastic experience; I can hardly wait. VO2 Max work will be going down a few times a week a couple of months out to get the hands ready. In the meantime, I'll continue to train hard.

Time is flying!

Universal truth

2009-04-18T10:09:00.000-07:00

Human connection and interconnectedness. This video made me so happy -- how awesome is it that we live in a world where we have the ability to connect with people from every corner of the globe? The world is so small, and so vast. What an adventure.

Edge

2009-04-17T17:50:00.000-07:00

Life continues on. Newness blossoms, routine matures, rubbish rots.

I'm feeling off-balance today for whatever reason. A lot has been on my mind, and I just feel anxious and pensive. I feel slightly detached from myself, like nothing is quite firing properly. Everything's fine, I just don't quite feel it today.

My workout today felt brutal; with two 12kg bells, I did 5 reps of front squats, snatches, military press, clean and push press, and then front squats again, for 5 sets. I'm definitely feeling Jiu-Jitsu from yesterday, particularly in my adductors and quads, and also along my thoracic spine where I was dropped. I'm still really enjoying BJJ though, it provides an excellent challenge and is always a good time.

TGU with the 32kg is stronger each time I do it.

I'm still doing the Warrior Diet, too. I've definitely gotten stronger on it, and I've had several people comment on noticable muscle gain within the last month and a half or so, particularly in my arms/shoulders. I feel good on the diet, my weight has levelled out -- still looking to lose, but I'm relatively content for the time being -- and I enjoy the undereating vs. overeating process, so I'll be sticking with it for now.

A Perfect Circle - 3 Libras

Empowerment

2009-04-09T19:00:00.000-07:00

So much has happened in so little time -- where could I even begin? Life has somehow become a whirlwind of simultaneous... calm contentment? I don't quite know how to describe the sensation adequately. There is the constant feeling that something is on the edge, that there's something I ought to be doing or working towards presently, and yet there's a general lack of stress or dread. I feel very pleased with my current state of busy-ness, though I of course am looking forward to the end of this semester of school. It feels good to be working towards medical school, and of course, ultimately towards being a doctor. Where that will lead me, I can't begin to say for certain.

The state of affairs in my life, and in those of many that I know, have put my mind into a space of wonderment and humility.

The complexity of life's simplicity--the weave of the patterns we sew--everything is within the scope of our understanding, as we've had a hand in creating every moment within our lives. And life contains a myriad of just these things: patterns. Yes, it is organic, and flows with each micro and macro decision that is made on each of our parts, and on the parts of those that surround us and affect us; yet take a moment and think about this idea.

How many times have you ever felt compelled to think, "Why does this shit always happen to me?", or self-defeating thoughts like, "Of course, I'm getting what I deserve, because I'm not worth anything anyway"? I have. Absolutely. Doesn't everyone in some way or another? Maybe you feel like people are always taking advantage of you in various relationships in your life; maybe you get "left behind"; maybe no matter what you do, you always end up feeling alone and isolated, and completely lost. I don't know. It could be anything, and most often times because of our nature as human beings, these repeating patterns are so hard. So damn hard. And truly, we are alone with them.

The truth is, if you feel like bad things are always happening to you -- they probably are. That said, you are probably not the victim, either, and most likely played a part in the difficult circumstance. How fantastic is that?

What I mean to say is this: Difficult patterns are repeated because they are not understood, and taking the time to understand them can be one of the most empowering things we do for ourselves. Rarely do we take the time to sit with our discomfort and own it. Who wants to sit with what hurts, angers, frustrates, saddens, or disappoints? Perhaps on a deeper level: are we ready to embrace responsibility for EVERYTHING that happens in our life? This obviously doesn't apply to acts of nature beyond our control. Certainly everything else we involve ourselves with and manipulate with our energy in some way applies, though.

It's a scary concept. Everything that happens to us is because of us in some way. It's so incredible though if you think about it. Yes, owning up to "mistakes" or "failures" is hard, but very empowering; and taking even more joy in all of the good in life is immensely beautiful. Everything is such a gift. Taking this deep breath that I am, deep into my belly, and releasing it -- it could so easily have been otherwise.

We all have scars. We all are imperfect and flawed, and no matter how hard we strive, we will never attain immortality of life or character. In that though, we are all organic, and we are all exactly where we need to be in our growth. We are all so young, and infinitely wise. We have the answers that we need, it's simply a matter of listening and appreciating our own strength, perfection, and innate wisdom.

I think I've talked about something like this before, but I wanted to write about it again since it seems like everyone is going through something. It's Passover tonight, and I'm sitting with my family for the seder; it should be a few hours of Jewish tradition that can be tedious, but has been such a part of my upbringing. This tradition has made my family as close as it is, and for that, I'm extremely grateful.

Kettlebell madness!

2009-04-07T16:00:00.000-07:00

The relativity of the passage of time is something that will be forever mind blowing.

I've been keeping busy, as usual. The last few months have been some of the fullest of my life to be sure. Yet they've also been some of the happiest and most fulfilling.

I'll post a more detailed blog tomorrow. For the time being, here's a slideshow of pictures I took at last night's kettlebell class.

Santa Barbara Kettlebell Class - 4/6/09

Whew.

2009-03-17T00:39:00.000-07:00

Training has been intense and fantastic recently; the only day I've had off from it within the last week was last Wednesday. BJJ on Tuesday and Thursday, rock climbing on Sunday, and KB workouts Monday, Tuesday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and today. Wednesday will be another day of rest.

It's been a week of a couple notable training achievements:

-Tuesday I completed 100 snatches with the 16kg in 4 minutes.
-Saturday I completed 100 snatches with the 16kg in 3 minutes, 45 seconds.
-I did a TGU with the 32kg kettlebell today. I didn't get it on video, but Doug was there spotting me and can vouch for me that it was done. I was really proud of myself for this one! It was difficult, but felt solid.

Life is so busy, but fantastic.

That's all I've got right now. Cheers!

Women of metal

2009-03-06T11:22:00.000-08:00

I've been listening to a lot of metal recently with lead female singers. The vocals these women possess are incredible, each with their own unique sound and appeal (well... for some, anyway). I always enjoy speculating how any individual got to where they are today; for some reason, I'm very curious about how these women came to be where they are. Maybe because they're such a rarity, and must have backbone and resolve to get to where they're at, as unconventional as it is.

Otep - 'Warhead'

Crisis - 'Blood Burden'

Straight Line Stitch - 'Black Veil'

In regards to life, it's very busy. I'm happy, and looking forward to things unfolding in the next few months. Just trying to maintain sanity and clarity and happiness like most.

Know yourself

2009-02-28T20:33:00.001-08:00

You know it's been a good few day of workouts when your arms are still pumped 6 hours after your last workout ended.

Or maybe this is a bad thing. Given the choice, I'll interpret it in a positive light, m'thinks.

Life has been incredibly busy, and very interesting, to say the least. Between all that's going on with school and training and various changes in my life, I feel like it's been ages since I simply sat and had nothing I had to be doing, or somewhere I needed to be. It feels sometimes like there's always people that expect me to be a certain way, or do certain things, and if I fail to adhere to their expectations then I'm nothing. In the past this would have bothered me, particularly if the people were individuals that I cared about. Yet I find as time goes on, that I have less and less tolerance for such self-serving behavior. I make no claims of being perfect, nor of knowing the best way of things; yet if I've given my all to a situation and know that I have, and there is still toxic energy there, then I have no problem letting it go.

Despite this though, I'm so happy. I feel fulfilled and complete on so many levels, in so many dimensions, and the busyness is good in most aspects. I certainly need to remember to stop and take a breath, as it's my tendency to forget to do this... but I'm happy. Very happy.

This week has been solid workout-wise, despite taking a couple days off in the middle. Monday night consisted of the RKC graduation workout done by participants of the San Jose RKC Cert.: with your snatch-weight bell (16kg for me), 1 snatch, 1 rack squat, one press, and 10 two-handed swings. Rest the bell down until the instructor says go, and switch sides. We ended up doing it for 25 minutes straight, which was doable -- I just have a tendency to sweat and melt. I probably could've done another 10 minutes though. This was after TGU and for the life of me I can't remember what else we did.

I didn't train Tuesday or Wednesday.

Thursday was BJJ, and it was a really good class. I'm loving the art more and more as I become further exposed as time goes on. I also received my second stripe in class, which was pretty neat.

Friday I did the SJ grad workout again for 20 minutes, followed by a few sets of double cleans and double snatches with 16 kg KBs. Later on I went bouldering at the climbing gym.

Today was brutal. KB class was full of grinds -- low rep sets of MP, BUP cleans and presses, renegade rows, heavy double front squats, bear crawls in the sand, side-stepping walking swings, overheard carries. This was all on the beach, and it was beautiful and warm and I certainly can't complain. I was a bit melty after class though, and decided to dive into the water to cool down. I walked out until I was almost waist deep and came upon a storm drainage pipe that was exposed due to the low sand levels. I walked up to it, stared at it for a few moments, and walked right back to shore. Talk about a turn off!

After this I drove to Ventura and attended a BJJ seminar, led by Daniel Gracie. There was a lot of great information offered, and it's always a pleasure to learn more and have the opportunity to become further educated about BJJ. He certainly knows an immense amount about the art of BJJ, and it was fantastic to be able to learn some of it.

I was at the seminar for about two hours, and by the end of it I had run out of gas. My arms were SO PUMPED!, and I just felt physically toasted. I didn't eat enough last night, and I didn't have a chance to have anything after KB class. A little Muscle Milk did the trick though, so no worries.

As far as the Warrior Diet goes... things are going well. It is interesting though: I've gained 7-8 lbs. scale weight since I started. Yet I don't notice anything physically different, except maybe I'm a little leaner in the midsection. So I'm not quite sure what's going on there, I'm going to have to tweak things a bit and see what's up. My energy has been good though, and overall I'm really enjoying it. The last few days have been a little tougher for me to not eat during the day because my whole family is home and I'm constantly surrounded by food and snacking -- I'm sticking to my guns, though.

As I said, the entire family is in town, so it's a full house with all seven of us here. I adore my family, and it's always a special time when we're all together -- who knows what that'll happen again, considered we're all over the country. Below are a couple pictures of the clan.

Quickie.

2009-02-18T16:59:00.000-08:00

Just for fun.

-18 snatches, 10 R/ 8 L, with 24kg 'bell.
After 2 minutes of rest:
-16 snatches, 8 R / 8 L, with 24kg 'bell.

Warrior Diet's going fine, haven't seen much in the way of physical changes yet. Will be playing around with details over the next couple of weeks.

Warrior Diet and workouts

2009-02-11T09:48:00.000-08:00

Just to document this a bit:

I'd been thinking about starting the Warrior Diet for about 8 months before I actually went for it. As I said before, I hadn't really read any testimonials or heard of any experiences that women had on the Warrior Diet, and so I was hesitant to start without knowing more. After talking with Ori at the LA Fit Expo though, my questions and doubts were answered and alleviated, and as I felt my body needed a change of pace diet-wise, I decided to go for it.

I've been on the Warrior Diet for eleven days now. Thus far, it's actually gone quite well, and I've definitely noted some changes:

- I've noticed a marked difference in my energy levels throughout the day, which are far more consistent than they had been.
- My sugar cravings, which were always an issue, are next to nothing since I've been on the diet. If I really do want something sweet, it's more of a choice than the feeling that I need to scratch some itch.
- I've lost scale weight, but am just as strong as I was if not stronger. I'm expecting the weight loss to continue now that my body has started to fully acclimate to the undereating/overeating process.

I've been eating during the day -- usually a piece of fruit with a low-glycemic index, and a couple handfuls of raw cashews a few hours later, or whey protein powder (Warrior Milk). As of this last Sunday though, which would have been day eight on the diet, my hunger pangs during the day have greatly decreased from what they were in the first few days. I've been drinking a minimum of 2.5 liters of water, upward to 4 liters.

As I implied, my workouts have been going quite well. I've been feeling solid in all of my workouts since I started the diet, both with kettlebells and in jiu-jitsu. In Monday night's class, we did heavy single rep TGU; I initially used the 24kg, which had been my max TGU weight for awhile, only to find that it was easy. When did that happen?? After doing 3 sets of 1 rep on both sides, I attempted a TGU with the 32kg. I was able to get up into the standing position from the ground, but lost tension and so didn't complete it. I'm fairly certain I could get it though if I were fresh -- bring it! I'll post about that when it happens.

At the end of the workout, I cleaned an 8o lbs. kb. My aim is to clean The Beast.

School is very busy but going well; pre-med is going to be something else. I'm excited about everything though, and feeling great.

On thoughts.

2009-02-06T09:49:00.001-08:00

I am overcome by the possibilities of this world. I am in a state of hypersensitivity, where the smell of the fresh, green, just rained-upon earth makes my head swim, and the feel of chilly raindrops on the skin of my upturned palms sends a thrill through my core. And all it takes is simply stopping and listening. How much gets taken for granted each and every moment and millimoment.

I'd love to be always adventuring, constantly exposed to newness and growth in all of its forms, with a haven of familiarity and love to return to each night. I wish I could walk every inch of this earth and show her how much I adore her and want to explore and love every part of her body. I wish I could touch the lives of people everywhere and take away sorrow and pain; I long to help in some drastic way that would assist in turning this world towards healing, rather than destruction. How is it so incredibly difficult for some people to see that we're all one blood, one flesh, and indivisible fibers in the fabric of reality? How can we possibly hate, or long for another person's death? No, there will never be unconditional love for the entirety of the human race; it's rare enough as it is.

What if we always lived with intention, though? No, I can't always be traversing the world, not at this point in my life. Yet who's to say that I can't live with utter fulfillment and excitement for each day? It's one thing to let the current of routine pull you down the waterways of each day, body limp and subject to being battered by unseen obstacles and debris, before you're swept onto shore for the evening where you lay with the discomforts of the day. These wounds were given without your say, certainly; yet the nursing of them is now your responsibility, as was the choice to lay back and allow yourself to be drawn along.

We are all led by this current, there is no escaping that. It is an entirely different affair to choose to swim, to jump from boulder to boulder, than to be drawn along. Yes, you may slip and break a bone, or be hurt in some other way; if you're going to live this though, why not as fully as possible? You may hurt yourself substantially along the way, but you own it, and it was damn worth it. Make everything count! Even if you have to go to school all day, or work, or have a family to take care of, do it all with intention! Make each and every activity your own, and dedicate it to the cause of your own fulfillment, the benefit of someone else, the journey of growth, or anything that drives you. This life is yours to do with as you will; make happiness and love your own, as well.

End ramble. I hope all of you have a lovely day. Do something that moves you! :)

A bundle of thoughts
On a dirty cloth perfumed
To tell you who you are
A bundle of thoughts
On a lonely ghost pursuit
Lost inside the space for this

Raise my arms
Space, wake my eyes
Space, grace my heart

Can I be the space for this
Will I be the space for this
Breathe in, breathe out
Must I bend the sky to realize

Meshuggah: sweat, madness, f'ing metal.

2009-02-04T23:03:00.000-08:00

Last evening took me to Sunset Blvd. in Los Angeles with Doug, Bones and Toni to see Meshuggah in concert, featuring The Faceless and Cynic. The Faceless, who I'd see play at the Lamb of God concert, was relatively decent, although I find it difficult to get into their music due to the monotonous vocals and the stop-start tendency of their music. Cynic I'd never heard before, and I found their sound to be very unique and interesting; sort of ethereal in a metal sort of way.

The audience was an interesting melting pot of meat heads in wife-beaters, stringy-haired head bangers sporting a metal band of choice on their oversized tees, flannel-attired nerds with shifty eyes darting behind their thick-rimmed glasses, women in mini-skirts and corsets, in black baggy tops and jeans, and in whatever they damn well pleased.

It's one thing to watch a metal show, and quite another to be in the show. I enjoy watching the opening bands from a higher platform; it's a good way to get into the energy of the place and the event. The pit is where it's at though, and after last night, a Meshuggah pit is the place to be to have an insanely out-of-control good time. As soon as we'd made our way down into the pit between sets, I could just feel how crazy things were going to get as soon as Meshuggah came on stage. People were excited before the act; the energy spiked to insanity as soon as drums, guitar, bass and screams rolled. A telling transformation was this guy that I was standing next to: he looked a lot like a hippy, tall and skinny with his long hair in a bun and a trimmed beard on his face, sporting a silk lavender shirt and some tribal-looking necklace. He seemed very laid back initially, almost bored. As soon as the music came on though, he tore his hair-band out so that his hair fell free, flashed double devil horns, and proceeded to be out of control for the rest of the evening.

I've never been in a crazier pit!!! It was totally unreal, and SO much fun! The crowd was surging the entire time, you were constantly fighting to keep your place and to force people away. I definitely ended up lauching a few people there... at one point I had to tame a fro that was a little out of control in front of me. And moshing is always a great time. As a woman, people either shy away from touching you, or they try to absolutely launch you. They don't usually expect to be launched back, though. :) The best is forming your mosh-pit brotherhood where you get props and support from other moshers.

Surprisingly I didn't get many wounds, just a few heads smashed into the back of mine at various points, ringing ears, and a few attempts were made to undo the lacing of my shirt to no avail.

Anyway, it was definitely one of the best concerts I've been to. I've looked at a few live videos on YouTube from various Meshuggah shows, but none encapsulate the madness that was in last night's audience. Here is Bleed though:

Happy February

2009-02-01T19:16:00.000-08:00

It's been a few days since I've last updated this thing. I don't have any thoughts in particular on anything, but overall, things are going very well. School is going to be a lot of work this semester, yet I'm going to stay on top of it. Chemistry, Chemistry Lab, Calculus, English, Cultural Anthropology (the last two courses are going to be no problem at all)... It's also a little bit exciting finally taking the actual steps towards medical school as opposed to just talking about it. Action is a fantastic thing.

Yesterday's kettlebell workout was brutal, as was today's. I also just went rock climbing, so the forearms and shoulders are a little bit shot, nevermind the pumped legs. Tomorrow's kettlebell class should be interesting -- bring it on!

I hope the Super Bowl turns out for the majority of you in the way that you want it to. =) All it's meant to me really is that I got to go rock climbing for free tonight because of it -- score.

I started the Warrior Diet yesterday, and thus far things are going quite well. I ate a pear and a handful of raw cashews yesterday during the day to satiate the hunger pangs, and today I had a mango and some raw cashews for the same reason. Last night I had three chicken breasts, tri-tip, spanish rice and beans, some broccoli and snow peas, and a little bit of dessert. This morning I was hungry... it'll take time to adjust. My energy has been good all day until now, and I'm just about to have dinner in the next half-hour anyway. I haven't heard of many testimonials from women on the diet, so I'll be curious to see how it goes. I'll keep updating about that.

Snatch Test

2009-01-28T16:45:00.001-08:00

Here's a clip of me doing the Snatch Test for 80 reps with the 16kg. Comments and constructive criticism are welcome! I will say this much: doing snatches on uneven ground on a slight decline is not easy. Get 'er done though.

And although the red is no more--it fades so fast, I got impatient and went to black--here are a couple of pictures of what it was. It will be completely blue next!

LA Fit Expo

2009-01-26T23:09:00.000-08:00

I spent this last weekend at the Los Angeles Fit Expo -- what a trip! It's really something else to be around the extremes in the field and to marvel at the huge discrepancy between legitimacy and... well, fake boobs and bloated, hypertrophic tissue that isn't functional. It was a great time though, the energy was definitely humming along the entire weekend. You can have a lot of fun anywhere with just a handful of RKCs around, and if there happens to be a kettlebell or two around, it's all over. I think I swung The Beast 60 times the first day, and snatched the 24 kg 20 times, as well as the 20 kg. Just for fun, of course.

I had the opportunity to talk for a good chunk of time with Ori Hofmekler, founder of The Warrior Diet. I've heard several success stories from men, but haven't heard that many from women, and so I was able to have many of my questions answered. It was so good of him to take as much time as he did to talk with me. At this point, I'm planning on starting the Warrior Diet in the next week or two. More about that later.

I don't have much more to say right now. It was the first day back in school, and it's going to be an interesting semester. It was a fantastic weekend though! Thanks to Justin Garfield for putting everything together! Below are a few more pictures of messing with the Beast for your viewing pleasure.
<--(This kid rocked.)

Hey...

2009-01-20T20:11:00.000-08:00

"Did you shave your crotch today? It's the last day for Bush!"

Here we go! Let's make change happen.

Cooked flexors, anyone?

2009-01-19T22:00:00.000-08:00

Whew. It's been a forearm-intensive sort of couple of days. Then again, most of the physical activities I do are just that - kettlebells, BJJ, rock climbing, massage. Grip much? No complaints, I love it all, but it can get a little nuts when it's all back-to-back. I went climbing yesterday, and am pleased to be making gradual progressions. I pushed a little too far though, and as a result I totally fatigued my forearms. It just so happened that KB class tonight was a lot of grip-oriented exercises: 5 minutes of TGUs with the 16kg, bear crawls with the 16kg, and a 3-set circuit of swings, 10 - 20 - 30 with 32kg - 24kg - 16kg bells respectively. The arms didn't explode though, which is always a plus, so all is well. It's fantastic, really.

I'm in such a wonderful state of being. I don't remember the last time I felt this happy, nor this content with everything. At the same time, I'm more excited than ever about the future. I feel so grounded and settled in my skin, completely certain of myself, though not carelessly overconfident. I know myself. I feel utterly filled and grateful for everything. Life is so good.

Cheers to all!

Sunnyshine!

2009-01-16T10:05:00.000-08:00

Ahh, it's good to be back in California. When I stepped off the plane in Santa Barbara at 8:00 PM into 65 degree weather as opposed to the -12 degrees it had been in Chicago when I stepped on, it was a beautiful thing indeed. It was the very best return, there's no other way I'd rather be welcomed home.

It was very tough saying goodbye to my sister. The last night I was there, she, her boyfriend Adam and I had just finished watching The Prestige and were laying snuggled up under down comforters and flannel sheets when it hit me how much I miss her when I don't see her. I'm so fortunate to have such a family that I actually miss them when I don't get to see them. Not just some of them, I mean each and every one of them. I feel much the same way about my extended family, as well. I'm so grateful.

The trip was a nice reprieve, and it allowed me time to rest my body from training and to take a holiday from trifles and larger issues. However, I woke up this morning at 7:30 refreshed and felt very ready to get back on track. I showered, ate breakfast, then took my 16 kg kettlebells down to the lawn and did a workout.

Everything was done with a 16kg (or two, if indicated):

-Started with some shoulder mobility warm ups, did a few snatches with the 12kg to see if they felt all right on the left shoulder -- which they did!
-Snatch Test - 80 reps, switched hands after 20 reps, no rest. Steady tempo, done in 3:30. No pain in the shoulder!!
-5 sets of 5 double front squats
-5 minutes of TGU, switching sides at the bottom
-3 sets of 5 boot-strap squats
-2 sets of 20 alternating swings

Completed the workout in 35 minutes.

I'm going to see how many snatches I can get done in the 5 minute span next time.

It felt fantastic to do that. The rest of the day will entail going to the beach and possibly rock climbing. I'll post some pictures of my first sledding experience (done in 0 degree weather) soon; I need to enjoy the sun now though. Cheers!

Yarr.

2009-01-13T10:55:00.000-08:00

A good mornin' to ya. It be a nipplie, breath-takin' zero degrees here in Sturgeon Bay, Wisconsin, and that be without the wind chill factor. The snow be a kaleidoscope of refracted rays upon the earth, the air singes on the way down. A beautiful phenomena to visit, and it be a beautiful thing to be able to leave it.

I did a workout a couple of days past. Worked the deadlift to a degree, but the equipment was a little shoddy. Did a few sets of 225 at 4 reps each, a few at 205 at 5 reps each, and a few at 185 at 8 reps. I also did some barbell suitcase deadlifts using the Olympic bar. My grip was a bit shot by that point, so I did 3 sets R/L, 4 reps per side. The last set I only did 3 per side.

I'm missing my kettlebells a lot, and looking forward to the workout that'll ensue once I get ahold of them. I need to have my ass kicked by a workout. I've also been pretty bad this last week diet-wise: it was my birthday on Thursday (pictures included), and I sort of took it as an excuse to eat crappy for most of the week. (Specimen A to your right.) The truth is, while it's great at the time, you always suffer for it later, even if you don't bear physical repercussions. Jacking up your nutritional intake in that way has such an effect on the psyche, and screws with your body image. It's an interesting thing. I'm not saying not to let loose once in awhile, and I don't think that these effects are strongly felt with small acts of indulgement, which I think can actually be beneficial. It's just a fine line, in my opinion. Anyway, I'm not going to worry about it, and it was all damn tasty! Particularly the Ben & Jerry's mint ice cream. If you haven't tried it, I recommend that yumful stuff.
This song has been stuck in my head today, and these lyrics in particular. I leave you with Aqueous Transmission by Incubus:

I'm floating down a river
Oars freed from their holds long ago
Lying face up on the floor of my vessel
I marvel at the stars
And feel my heart overflow
Further down the river
Further down the river
Further down the river
Further down the river
Two weeks without my lover
I'm in this boat alone

Floating down a river named emotion

Will I make it back to shore
Or drift into the unknown?

Bruises galore

2009-01-06T18:20:00.001-08:00

I gotta say, I'm freakin' LOVING BJJ. I get more hooked every class. Today we went over a couple of sweeps and a few chokes. That's always fun, especially when done repetitiously. I also got to roll today once, which I won't really be able to do regularly for a little while, and really enjoyed it. So good!

My left shoulder is still jacked up. This is a big bother to me, and I'm not pleased that it's still an issue. Doing snatches last night with the 16kg on the left side was very uncomfortable. I've just been gritting my teeth and working through it for the most part, but I'm going to really try and give it a rest this coming week while I'm in Wisconsin visiting my sister and hopefully I'll be able to get her to work on it.

I'm now sporting black and reddish-pink hair. It was supposed to be Rufio-colored hair from Hook, but it turned out a bit lighter. I'll have to post a picture sometime soon.

Makin' some man hands.

2009-01-02T17:27:00.000-08:00

Today was a deadlift day again. I attempted a max which was pointless since I tried for it last week and didn't get it, but that's okay. I also threw in some T-Bar rows at the end since I had the desire to do them.

DL:
Warmed up with 135 lbs. x 10
Max attempt: 275 lbs x 0. I got it off the ground, but it wasn't going up.
2 sets of 225 lbs, x 5
3 sets of 185 lbs, 8 x 8 x 7
T-Bar Rows:
4 sets of 185 lbs., x 10

I had a man come up to me at the end of my warm up and ask me how long I've been lifting for, and said I was the strongest woman he'd seen. It's not the first time someone's approached me, especially when doing deadlifts, but it got me thinking: I wish women weren't so afraid to explore their strength and fulfill that potential! It's too bad when the sight of a strong woman illicits shock. To each her own, truly. I just wish that women would realize that they aren't going to look like a Hulkette if they so much as look at a kettlebell or barbell.

The New Year

2009-01-01T23:56:00.001-08:00

A belated 'Happy New Year' to everyone! I hope this year is full of beautiful new beginnings and the continuation of trends of fulfillment for everyone. I'm certainly planning on it being just so for myself.

I brought in the new year with a lot of great people, and I'm fairly certain I was one of two people who wasn't drunk, in case that isn't apparent from the picture. It was a good time with a lot of laughs -- definitely won't be forgetting it any time soon.

I've been enjoying the break from school a lot. I've been filling my days with training of the kettlebell/BJJ/rock climbing variety, and with people that I care about, creating stronger bonds and deeper connections. I've overcome some tough stuff and made so many positive changes, and more keep rolling in. I'm healthy, strong and getting stronger, and motivated for more. I'm in a fantastic state of mind, and loving life and all that's been coming with it. There's a lot to work on and to work towards, as it always will and should be. Honestly though, for the first time in several years, I feel as though I'm starting the year off just right. And it feels amazing.

"To me, you're like... lord of the rings!"

2008-12-29T15:36:00.000-08:00

The above was said to me by my good, then-extremely belligerent friend. I'm pretty sure he was paying me a compliment, and I definitely don't know what it means.

Can I just say that drunks, while they can be amusing, can also suck? I went downtown Saturday evening and met up with some friends who had been out for awhile already, and they dragged me on to the dance floor, which I was happy to do. But I was not dressed up for the event, and was wearing flip flops, which was the wrong choice, because apparently drunks drop their tall glasses of beer, and don't pick them up! The club was naturally dark so I didn't see the glass until my toe and the bulk of the glass greeted one another intimately. No big deal, I didn't really think about it actually until I noticed that my foot was slipping in my shoe because there was so much blood. Silly drunks.

I just got back from an overnight camping trip with my girlfriends, which was a blast. We had some issues getting to the final destination that resulted in a lot of off-roading in a Scion tC, i.e. NOT 4WD, but I was getting a kick out of it. The evening consisted of hard cider, very crunchy burritos made over the fire, a bunch of crappy, tasty camp food, and cold. Yes, it was cold; ice = cold, and there was definitely ice on the ground and on
my sweatshirt that I left outside this morning. I don't think anyone slept all that much, but it was a good time. Threw some food down the chute and went on a two hour hike, which was beautiful and refreshing. It's always good to take time to get outdoors and absorb that energy... everything is much clearer when all of the distractions and modern "noise" are dissipated.

That deadlift thing

2008-12-26T16:54:00.000-08:00

It's barely 5:00 and I'm dragging. I've not been sleeping enough/very well the past few nights... gonna have to do something about that...

I did a short deadlift workout today. Warmed up with 135 lbs, then tried pulling 275 and wasn't able; I successfully pulled 265 a few minutes later though. Engage the lats, chin down, feet under the bar, get wide in the hips, MAINTAIN TENSION! It's been a couple of months since I've deadlifted, so I was pleased that I haven't lost it at all. Did reps with 135, 185 and 225. The weight felt sort of heavy today, but I'm attributing that to general fatigue. My shoulders started firing after awhile, so I decided not to push it since kettlebells are tomorrow.

Two weeks until I leave for Wisconsin -- what was I thinking??? If you read this Anna, it's obviously because I love you; freezing cold sounds IDEAL!

Walked in the raining dawn

2008-12-25T05:58:00.000-08:00

5 AM wake up. Maybe I was too excited about Santa coming to town. Happy Holidays to all!

Regardless, I woke up with my mind full of thoughts. Some of these fragments are about the past, but most are about the now, and what's to come.

I'm not one for New Year's resolutions -- I feel that I earnestly try to resolve my issues and strive for more year round, and tend to be pretty bad about following through when the resolution isn't borne of my own initiative. At this point, I can't ask anything from the coming year. I hope to be firmly grounded in a place of contentment while I continue to push myself physically and mentally. I hope to determine if the study of medicine is what I want to pursue to benefit this world in some way. I hope to be able to go backpacking and trekking in New Zealand. I will laugh a lot more. These are all ideals though, save for the last, which will be.

All anyone can do is live in the moment as it unfolds. Time can be daunting in its relative longevity. I wonder how many more people would be more inclined to carry out their aspirations and goals if they just looked at the journey a day at a time? How much more accomplished would we all be if we just reveled in now? Yes, the journey could be difficult as a whole, or it can be a fantastic challenge. It is all in the perspective.

Even more intimidating is life's nondescript brevity. I don't really need to go into the subject of death, because it's ever-present. Live while you're alive, be dead when you've died, or so some quote by some author goes. Or as Marcus Aurelius said, "It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live." Yes, it's cliche, and the idea has been ground so firmly that it resembles hamburger meat more than the valid point that it is. There's a reason it's been so represented: it's THAT important! I wish people would consider the importance of revitalization more than just once or twice a year.

Death seems to be as terrifying as it is be because so many people are not actually living. Of course there will be fear of missing out if you're sitting and waiting for something to happen. DO IT! Make it happen for yourself! Your happiness is of the utmost importance -- so do what it takes to attain it! No, it's NOT selfish to pursue happiness for one's self, whatever it takes. How else can we function from the deepest and purest level of intention and integrity if we aren't grounded within ourselves? I guarantee if you are truly on the path of attempting to attain true happiness, unadultered and unsuperficial, you will be improving the lives of others along the way. Some people make the excuse that they can't escape the confines of modern expectations. Whatever it is that you do within your day, do it with intention. Start with now. It doesn't need to be a drastic alteration of routine and pattern and lifestyle. Be conscious in the way that you breathe, eat, move, communicate, feel. Know yourself. This is your life. Don't waste time being fickle and unwilling to commit to the cause of fulfillment because it's "hard". Live it now.

Primal growl

2008-12-21T12:22:00.000-08:00

Life is amazing. I've broken through, and I'm continuing to challenge myself. Kettlebell training, strength and conditioning with bodyweight work, and now BJJ and indoor rock climbing. I'm loving this. Bring it on!

I saw Lamb of God Friday evening with Doug. It was originally going to be Doug, Tim, Jen and myself, but due to various reasons it didn't work out. The show rocked, and moshing was a lot of fun, of course. There were kids in their early teens all over the place though! There was even this ten year old kid that threw himself into the pit and was tearing it up. Pointy elbows at crotch level = devastation. Also a lot of crusty old men, gropers, frankfurtter-headed wannabe bad asses, fluffy-haired trenchcoat wearers... it was an interesting crowd. It was a fantastic time, and hopefully will be happening again in the not-so-distant future. Metal fucking owns.

As I'd said earlier, I tweaked my shoulder in BJJ, and apparently shoving people around at a metal show is not the best remedy... it definitely was not feeling good during KB class on Saturday morning with snatches, so I cooled it with overheard exercises. Thankfully it's feeling much better today, just in time for indoor rock climbing.

I've been working on the tattoo today, personalizing it... if it comes to fruition, it's going to rock.

Quick update

2008-12-18T16:54:00.001-08:00

There are few things more absurd than a very conversational dentist who expects dialogue. I think there's got to be at least a little bit of dry humor involved there.

BJJ was awesome today. Two classes in, and I'm already hooked. I keep thinking about it too when I'm not in it; going over the scenarios we learned in class. I keep zoning out though as a result when people are talking to me... oops.

I was planning on doing Rusty's class tonight, but I've just had too little sleep in the last couple of days and as a result I'm really wiped out. Plus I tweaked my left shoulder in BJJ class today. Nothing major, I just think it's probably smarter to not aggravate it.

Gradients

2008-12-16T17:36:00.000-08:00

Onward.

Sometimes you just need to grit your teeth and take those steps that will lead you away from the scene of beauty and agony; those aspects that are constantly teetering precariously, vying for dominance over each other, over balance. How much easier it is to be able to assist something, or someone, by directly offering a hand; rather, knowing that the lack of your own presence will be of the most benefit -- stepping away, and relinquishing your hand, your voice, your want.

The last few days have been physically good. Two nights ago I went on a night hike into the mountains, which was excellent. We set a rockin pace, and even in the dark, we made the trip in about an hour and fifteen minutes, which is solid during the day, and got us back to the car just as the rain came pouring down.
Last night was kettlebell class, which was a grinder. A lot of suitcase deadlifts with two bells in one hand, two five-minute chunks of TGUs, and I'm fairly sure I did over 200 swings in the last 8 minutes alone during a partner trade-off. The suitcase deadlifts got me thinking about deadlifts, which I'm hoping to do tomorrow. I miss them.

Today was my first day trying out Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu in Ventura. I'd done some 6 week seminar with some basic stuff about eight years ago, and other than that, I've never done anything martial arts related. I instantly liked the environment and the energy of the place and the people; it's really obvious that it's about the love of the art and sharing the knowledge and experience, rather than getting an ego-boner off of some superiorty trip that you see in some places where revered people teach. You don't get full-fledged respect without walking the walk, and there is definitely respect here. I got the strong impression that this place draws and keeps people that are centered and true. And I had SO MUCH FUN! My other forms of training absolutely came in handy. It's kind of fun to find out that you can heft some guy over 200 lbs. around and illicit a wide-eyed response. I really enjoyed the balance of aspects... and I can't wait to learn so much more. I can see a new obsession being born.

Sidequest of the day: I realized I left home for class without wearing underwear. Who does that? Me. Anyway, I thought: hmm... rolling around on the ground without that = a bad idea. I had colorful possibilities going through my head of what could happen at my first day of class. Since I didn't have time to drive back home and get to Ventura on time, I drove to the nearest place to buy some. Consumerism is a whore, by the way. It's impossible to just buy a pair of panties. Buying three pairs if cheaper than buying one, and if you buy a fourth, you get four more pairs free. Then, geez... you're just wasting money if you don't buy four more. You have to pick the color and the size and the pattern... @#$%! So now I have eight pairs of panties instead of one. And at the register, you're offered several super-duper-special-offers-that-are-unparalleled-in-their-SUPERDUPERNESS! But I just want some panties for Jiu-Jitsu! Two registers malfunction! The panties need to be re-scanned and re-wrapped! No, no, leave the wrapping! No, it's the policy! Thus I concluded, I should have just gone commando, and clothes shouldn't exist anyway.

I know -- seriously crazy.

Multi-faceted gains

2008-12-14T09:36:00.000-08:00

It's lovely to be able to just sit and know that there isn't something else looming over your head that you could--or ought to--be doing. It's certainly manageable when it's there, but some time without that pressure is going to be very good.

This week has been one of growth for me in many ways. I've pushed myself to uncomfortable limits in several aspects of my life; dealt with the resulting discomfort; learned from it; and this week, I think I achieved some sort of break through. Maybe not through the area of discomfort entirely, but I'm at a new level of understanding, strength, and self-empowerment. I plan to grip on to this new plane as securely as I can so that I can only continue upward, forward, and not slip back and down.

I'm definitely feeling a bit over-trained, but it was a solid week of training that I'm very pleased about: kettlebells, bodyweight workouts, indoor rock climbing. The legs are fatigued, and anything from the lats up to the neck is beat. I'm hoping to just take it easy today, though I might go on a night hike this evening with some friends to check out the moon in all of its awesomeness.

On another note, the knot up top would be a bad-ass tattoo with some minor alterations. It's linked with the Celtic goddess Morrigann. It's all about goddesses of death, war and fertility!

Anyway, it's not raining after all, and so I'm going to go for a walk. Enjoy the day!

Mushy synpases

2008-12-07T17:17:00.000-08:00

Eeee! I'm antsy! I'm antsy! Sitting all day studying for finals! Eeee! I feel a bit like this fellow:

2008-12-05T19:01:00.000-08:00

Life has seemed hazy. I wish I had a more descriptive, telling word than that, but that's precisely how it feels. It's like a fog around my peripherals, though the object of my intent is focused and clear. As soon as I look away though, it, too, becomes muddled. When I try to focus on everything at once, whirling back and forth, I feel overwhelmed and nauseous. It's almost like riding on some out-of-control roller coaster that you can't get off of.

There's so much to be done, so much that I want to achieve, and I feel like I haven't figured out what even a quarter of that is. I get caught up in the current conflicts, and I lose sight of what I want to strive for -- or rather, striving to find what I'm searching for.

I don't know. I sort of want to be an adventuring, philanthropic pirate. I guess that's what I'm striving for in some twisted, modernistic way?

And, might I ask, why is showing emotion so often perceived as a sure indicator of fragility and/or weakness? It pisses me off. Emotionally constipated people are the last thing this world needs. Grrr.

Anyway, enough complaining. My workouts have been going well lately. I did the VO2 Max 15:15 protocol with a 12 kg 'bell on Wednesday night after a rather tumultuous day and put out 16 sets. Last night I did Rusty's class, which was great as always, though the carpals in my right wrist started flaring up after a chunk of push-up related exercises. It's feeling fine today, and I'm hoping it stays that way. I'm looking forward to kettlebell class in the morning, it should be good stuff.

And now, finals to study for. Take care, all.

The Thanksgiving blog

2008-11-28T15:30:00.000-08:00

Another Thanksgiving come and gone.

Thanksgiving has been my favorite holiday for the sole reason that it's the day that my family, immediate and some of the extended, come together from all over to celebrate our love for each other (the food isn't half bad, either). And as everyone has grown, this includes other loved ones and significant others, which only makes it all the more fantastic.

I'm open-minded and very open to many states of minds and peoples' personal decisions. Yet when someone tells me they don't need anyone in their life to be happy, I will call it bullshit. I have yet to meet a person that is utterly isolated and solitary that is truly happy. Throughout my life, and during this time in particular, I've come to realize how important it is to have a 'home base' -- a place, or a group of people, that is always safe and loving. Despite how far you get from home, or how far you wander from your path, or how many obstacles you put yourself through to 'toughen up', there's always that place to return to for brief reprieves.

And yet, during this period of personal
wandering and exploration, it is different. While I've had such a wonderful time with my siblings, parents and cousins, aunts and uncles, friends and adopted significant others, it's a time of change. Some people were physically absent: a cousin in Ecuador, another, a recently converted Jehovah's Witness, unable to come to celebrate the holiday. It's so strange to feel vacant when surrounded by others, though. I feel so much love and adoration and would give an enormous amount in a heartbeat for the sake of any of their happiness. I laugh and screw around and enjoy myself around all of them. And still, there's that wandering aspect that hovers beneath the surface, that portion of myself that longs to be completely alone and completely surrounded: completely complete.

My point: Know and love yourself in solitude, and know and love yourself within love for others. Both aspects are incredibly important, and crucial for a well-rounded (whatever well-rounded actually means) ability to love.

The world is going to hell on its current path. Terrorists are blowing up kids that are in meditation retreats in India, and people that are in places of worship of their god. The pharmaceutical entity has grown to a grotesque stature that has, until now, never been witnessed in the history of the world, and controls more than we know. Politicians are mistrusted and are, more often than not, corrupt, rather than being a representative of necessity. People have forgotten how to use their bodies, and have let them go to fast-food convenience and stagnation; how to use their minds, and sell hours of their time to pixels; how to use language, resorting instead to "ur"s and "wtf"s via the internet or texting instead of looking someone straight in the eye and speaking clearly and eloquently; so many people have forgotten how to connect to other people except in a fashion that is self-serving, and self-destructive.

It's depressing and terribly frightening when you think about it as a whole. And honestly, as much as I'd like people to change, it's not my place nor my desire to dictate how people ought to live. So long as an individual is free to makes their own choices, and those choices don't harm others, I consider it to be a lovely thing. All I can hope to do is live my own life in such a way that I contribute to beneficial and what I feel to be necessary change. I hope to live my life fully; I hope to drink every experience down and become all the more filled for it. There are always the lovely little moments. Let me sample each and every opportunity, let me tread everywhere and anywhere. And even as I wander in uncomfortable, trying terrain, I sincerely hope I maintain the clarity of mind to draw wisdom and fulfillment out of this portion of the journey, as well.

Love to everyone, I extend my very best to you as you go about your day.

Bene!

2008-11-25T23:11:00.001-08:00

Life is great. I feel so solid and grounded, and so driven and inspired! I want to excel at all that I pour my energy into. I'm so excited for so much... things are good.

I'd write more on this note, but I just received a notice for another mandatory evacuation. It's raining fairly hard, and the authorities are worried about the risk of serious mudslides due to the instability of the hillsides wrought by the recent fire. I'm not worried.

Sacramento

2008-11-23T21:18:00.000-08:00

What a weekend! I went up to Sacramento with Rusty, Doug, Tim and Sean to attend Pavel's seminars on stretching and abs. We all drove up together, and stayed in a single room. There was rarely any time where we weren't talking or laughing about something, and the seminars were excellent. The time away was really great, and the group dynamic we had going just felt awesome, easy, and so much f'ing fun. There are several things I won't look at the same again: stretching techniques, ab work... a baby's arm, U-turns, Mimi's, Spiderman ... and oh, so much more. The list goes on. Hopefully there will be more such events in the near future.

I was extremely happy to get the chance to speak with Pavel and some of the other RKCs. After discussing deadlifts with Pavel, he suggested that I try out for the Power to the People deadlift team. Beyond that being a potentially amazing experience, it's also another reason to train harder and become stronger and completely own the deadlift. I'll be breaking 300 soon. I'm also really intrigued by Z-Health... I'll need to research that more. I'm also inspired to become truly a beast among women with kettlebells (of course!).

And now, back to the real world... a Math test in the AM to study for.

Normalcy?

2008-11-19T11:56:00.000-08:00

The ability to determine for yourself your own worth is everything. Until then, you're simply a child who is dependent on others for sufficiency.

Things are settling down again. The fire is out. The journey continues. School is winding down. This weekend is going to be great: up to Sacramento for Pavel's stretching and abs seminars. Speaking of abs: ow. Mine are still shot from Monday's class.

I've been working single rep TGUs with a 24kg KB. I posted a video of me doing a 24 kg TGU on Facebook to see what sort of reactions I'd get. It was pretty much as I expected it would be:

Non-athletes with semblance of etiquette: "So... the black thing is heavy, you lifted it with one arm, and that's impressive... right?"
Non-athletes that don't give a crap: "Uh, okay, why would you post a video of yourself doing that?"
Athletes, or those who are just plain metal: "Fuck, that's epic."

And through it all, I continue to explore the inside of my head and the expansiveness of the world, while pondering the seemingly-suppressing walls in the immediate area. If there are walls though, there are options: turn around and pretend it isn't there; try to walk around it; try to exist with it and climb over it; or knock it down. I think I'm going to need to do a combination of these things with my own walls.

Update

2008-11-14T18:25:00.000-08:00

I went back to the fire area today to see if I could find out if my family's house had burned down or not. Google Map and other sources were showing that my house was right on the cusp of the area that was burned and that which wasn't. I snuck past the police barricade on foot, and walked a good mile to a mile and a half. Thankfully my house as of yet is safe; I was able to turn off the gas and get some pictures. It was incredibly eery around there though... no one but authorized personnel. There was a lot of dead birds from the smoke. Just down the road houses were burned... we're lucky.

Three people are in critical condition from burns and smoke inhalation. Two of these people are friends of mine. A close friend lost their property and all of their posessions, and a family I know lost everything as well.

This sucks so bad. I wish I could help.

Tea Fire

2008-11-13T22:40:00.000-08:00

Wow. This is so surreal.

I'm sitting at my parent's beach house right now on Cliff Drive. Five hours ago, a fire started in the hills above my family's house. I was in Rusty's strength and conditioning class when someone commented that there was a fire in the hills. First thing I think... shit. That's above my house. Class disbands as Rusty's property is above mine, and Tim came with me to survey the area.

By the time I got to my house, the fire is on the ridge just a few miles from the house. We start evacuating everything we feel is important and irreplaceable -- good thing I'd already thought about this from the last fire a few months ago. Of course there have to be 60 mph winds TODAY. Got my cats, my family loaded all that we needed up, and by the time we left the fire was 1/2 - 1 mile from my house. You could hear the flames crackling when the wind blew just right.

Tim and I drove up to find Rusty, I couldn't understand him on the phone, just that he couldn't get out... the wind was physically blowing us around, and we stood on the ridge with Rusty and watched everything burn. Rusty wanted to stay awhile, Tim and I opted to get out while we knew we could. (Rusty is safe, by the way).

People were panicking bad. There was a car that had driven straight off the road and was angled down at probably 55 degrees down the hill, wedged in a tree. The roads are a mess.

All of my belongings and my home might be gone. At least we're all safe.

Med school prep...

2008-11-12T11:47:00.000-08:00

I just got out of my academic counseling appointment, where I essentially laid out the next couple of years of school for myself in preparation for medical/osteopathy school.

My head is going to EXPLODE! A little overwhelming I must admit, but I'm also excited to have this laid out to a degree -- it's more of a reality.

It's going to be difficult to have a life outside of school though, that's for sure.

11/11 update

2008-11-11T22:18:00.000-08:00

Meal 1: Organic romaine lettuce, 1 blacked chicken breast, 1 carrot
Meal 2: Grilled white fish, shredded carrots, cabbage, 1/3 cup black beans and 1/3 cup brown rice
Snack: 1 apple and a handful of mixed nuts (mixed raw and salted)
Meal 3: Organic romaine, 3/4 can white tuna (in water), 1/3 cup broccoli.

I had every intention on working out today. I even went to the gym and did a set of deadlifts, 185 lbs x 5... and my body was just TIRED from yesterday's workout. Thinking, "There's no way this is going to be a good workout," I unloaded the weight and went home. Defeatist? Just honest, I think.

Tired recount

2008-11-10T22:00:00.000-08:00

I'm wiped out! It's been a long day. I ate very well all day (I honestly don't remember at the moment all I ate)... classes weren't particularly stimulating. I'm looking forward to this semester being over, I haven't felt very mentally stimulated despite the heavy workload.

I had a good talk with Rusty after kettlebell class tonight about diet. I haven't been seeing results, so I got some good tips from him. I'll be writing down all that I'm eating for the next week and see what he thinks. I don't think I have a lot to lose, just a few areas that I'd like to slim down a bit.

Kettlebell class tonight was great -- very solid, I'm so tired! I'll sleep blessedly well tonight without a doubt. It's been a long week.

Tomorrow I have off from school -- until my 4 1/2 hour-long sports massage class that started at 5:30, anyway. Hopefully it'll be nice out so I can go hiking or do something outdoorsy. I'd love to go kayaking, but m'thinks my upper body will not be so stoked about this idea after tonight's workout.

Time to pass out.

New Snatch Test

2008-11-08T19:04:00.000-08:00

So today was kind of a cheat day. Yum. I'm going out to sushi in a few minutes too to celebrate a friend's birthday. I did want to post though that I did the new snatch test, 80 reps with the 16kg, in under 5 minutes. And it was good.

11/07 update

2008-11-07T19:41:00.000-08:00

I didn't work out today... I'm feeling pretty tired, and I'm feeling last night's workout. I've been eating pretty well, though. I can say that much.

Had a banana before I ran off to class.
Meal 1: Standard: 4 egg whites, broccoli, tomatoes, 1/4 oatmeal with honey and cinnamon, 1 apple.
Meal 2: Romaine lettuce with apple slices, grapes, blue cheese and grilled chicken.
Snack: 4 soy sausage links.
Meal 3: Organic romaine lettuce, grilled ahi poki, organic tomatoes, 1 piece of Ezekiel whole wheat toast.

And I definitely had 3 bites of Whitney's cinnamon-banana-chocolate chip pancake earlier... ohhh my goodness. I'm so proud of myself for stopping at three, mmm...

On another note. This is my quote of the day:

“Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.” -- Oscar Wilde

I'm constantly reminded that life is a journey in every aspect; there's never any destination. There are plateaus, there are climaxes, there are slumps, yet the process is always continuous. I think on times where I've been completely in my own skin, and have felt solid in every sinew, every thought, every reality, every strength and every flaw. I don't feel that way right now; in fact, I felt lower than I have in quite a long time last night, and did and said some things that I regret. I'll carry remnants from some of those actions.

My intention is to act with integrity, to be solid and trustworthy and always loving. I live with my heart open, and am all the more passionate and excited for life because of it. Yet my fears sometimes manifest in ugly ways. And I don't know which way is up to air and which way is down deeper.

I don't have clarity. There is no easy way... which is not the issue. I can deal with pain, and have. I'm no martyr, but I do not fear pain if it is the path to greater strength and greater gain. I simply don't know the answer. Maybe I don't have enough information yet; I don't know. Patience and self-nurturing are going to be my greatest allies for now, I think. I hope to re-discover some of those riches within myself, and to discover new ones. I've always considered each person to be a world within a world, and always want to learn more about people, particularly those I'm close to. I forget sometimes that the same applies to me.

This is the most I've "talked" in a day! Enough for now. I hope everyone has a lovely evening/day -- and to each of you: be sure to go outside and take a deep breath in to your heart and belly, and dwell on one aspect of this life that you are humbled by and deeply grateful for.

That's all.

11/06 update

2008-11-06T20:48:00.001-08:00

Meal 1: 4 egg whites, broccoli, tomatoes, feta cheese, 1 apple, 1 piece of Ezekiel bread.
Meal 2: Tuna sandwich with tomatoes on wheat toast.
Snack: Carrot
Post-workout: Carob-Almond smoothie with Rice Milk and protein powder.

Did Rusty's class tonight.

11/05 update

2008-11-05T21:34:00.000-08:00

Run down:

Meal 1:
4 egg whites, broccoli, feta cheese, 1 apple, 1/4 oatmeal with some honey, cinnamon and a little bit of cocoa powder -- had to try it!

Snack:
Dried apple rings

Meal 2:
1 Picata Chicken breast, 1/3 cup of rice (don't remember what kind), 1 - 1 1/2 cup oven roasted vegetables.

Meal 3:
Organic romaine lettuce with jicama, tomatoes, shredded carrots, onions and topped with albacore tuna.

Had a chai latte tonight, too. Otherwise, just good ol' agua.

I'd like to get back into 5-6 meals a day... it's just tough with the schedule. We'll see how this goes, and make adjustments accordingly.

I was planning on working snatches today, but I didn't get home until about 9:20, and honestly, I just don't feel up to doing anything. Another long-ass day. I hate not getting my work outs in, and it only makes the mind and mood worse. Tired of shit, man. At least Obama is president!

Have a good one, peoples. Rusty's class tomorrow night, won't be able to pussy-foot tomorrow.

*@#%!

2008-11-04T16:55:00.000-08:00

CRAZY day... and I still have hours left.

Woke up at 6:00 and worked on my research paper that was due today by 4:00. I worked until 8:15 straight through, stopped and had some breakfast: 4 egg whites, broccoli, tomatoes, some feta cheese and an apple. Then off to school. Crammed in some studying for my midterm tomorrow after class, then had lunch at Crazy Fakers with my dad: Organic lettuce with tomatoes, diced tuna, dried cranberries and some raspberry dressing.

Then I raced back home, and worked on my essay from 12:25 until 3:25. Talk about procrastination, gah... I'm horrible! Raced back to school to hand off the assignment to my teacher, had it to her by 3:45 -- time to spare!

Then I went to the polling station to vote... I then remembered that I'd accidentally had my ballot sent to my house. Which I never filled out, of course, but I had to go back to my house and get it, and then go back to the polling station. But I voted -- woo hoo!

Just got home, through some dinner together -- organic romaine lettuce, grilled ahi poki, jicama, and a handful of corn chips to satiate my munchies, haha.

Unfortunately I won't have time to fit in a workout today... grr. I'm off to my sports massage class in about 15 minutes, which'll keep me until 10:00. Then more studying. Yowza! At least I ate well today, and I drank only water and a little bit of kombucha.

Quick note: Keep your core SOLID when you're doing C&Js, even when you're getting tired! You're going to put undue pressure on your lumbar spine otherwise. Figured this one out last night -- brutal.

Anyways, hope everyone's well. Have a tasty night!

Eek, I'm so bad...

2008-11-03T16:24:00.000-08:00

So... I haven't quite been updating daily, have I? Oops. And with my inability to maintain my blog as I promised, my workouts and diet have not been as clean, either. That's not to say that I scrapped my initial idea completely -- I just haven't been as perfect about it as I meant to be. Basically, what I tend to do already. -_-

SO! My naughty self has just earned until Thanksgiving. Extra incentive to eat clean is that I MUST post my daily food intake, no exceptions -- unless I do have a cheat day on Saturdays, in which case, it's no one's business. X) I will post if that's going to be the case, though.

Anyways. I went on a great hike yesterday with Tim and a couple other people up Seven Falls, which has some rock-climbing involved -- excellent stuff, I'd never done that hike before. Plus, it was GORGEOUS yesterday. I've been feeling... off, so it was good to get outside and explore for a couple of hours with great people.

Only about a month and a week until the end of school. I'm definitely going to get a camping trip together for winter break.

2008-11-02T12:00:00.000-08:00

Fervent desire to taste every flavor,
nevermore, nevermore.
What when a bitterness has coated
thickly,
leaving sweetness and savory
an intangible luxury?

Order -- and triumph!

2008-10-24T14:29:00.000-07:00

I feel powerful today. I feel very settled in my skin, and I feel solid and ready for any challenge.

I feel like things have been sort of out of order lately, so I'm putting things back into it. Starting with my room and car... ~shudder~ No small tasks, those.

I'm planning on owning deadlifts this afternoon. I'll post again with an update of my success!

EDIT:
Yesterday I did 5 minutes of TGUs yesterday with a 12 kg KB, and then 6 minutes of TGU/Swings with the 12kg/16kg, 1 minute of each. Also did some military press, BUP, deck squats, snatches and H2H.

So just about an hour ago, did them deadlifts, and I was very surprised... well no, actually, I wasn't.

I did a quick warm up with 135 lbs., one set of 10 reps. I wanted to be fresh when I attempted my max, which I really wanted to do since last time was weak and was attempted at the end of the workout. After the warm up set I laced on 235 lbs., and geared myself up for it, getting myself stoked and pumped. Get in solid form, pull -- and it flies up. It felt light. Okay... well, maybe I'll do 245 lbs. No -- I'll try 255 lbs., instead. But wait... why not go for a new PR, and try 260 lbs. instead?

I lace on 260 lbs - two 45 plates, one ten, one five, and one two-and-a-half on either side -- walk around for a bit, and get in position. I pull, and it was tough, but I'm very certain I got it locked out without any bend in the back at all. I held it for a few seconds at the top before I lowered it.

I was grinning hugely after this, and I think everyone thought I was a little loony, except for the guy who watched me pull the weight. I did a couple of sets of 5 reps of 185 lbs., and called it good. Short, but oh so sweet.

285 lbs. doesn't sound so daunting! I'm so stoked. And I'm looking forward to KB class tomorrow.

The bug bit me

2008-10-18T18:10:00.001-07:00

I was feeling a little bit off yesterday, and started feeling progressively more headachey and congested as the night went on, so I drank about a gallon of water and got to bed by 9:15... sure enough, I woke up in the middle of the night with a fever, hot/cold flashes, pounding headache, a bad cough and muscle/joint aches. I've taken it easy today and have just downed a bunch of water. I did force down some oatmeal earlier, and then I had some delicious, hot udon that Whitney brought to me -- thank you, Whitney, so awesome! :)

Anyway, I'm feeling better than I was early this morning, and I'm hoping to kick this by the end of the weekend. If I don't, it's going to be a looooong week...

On the bright side, this has forced me to slow down and evaluate things, which has been productive. Putting things in perspective is usually a good thing.

And here is me sharing the perfect ugliness that bulldogs are capable of, particularly Winston:

To redeem him:

A Thursday update

2008-10-16T22:03:00.000-07:00

Today I ate clean -- except that bowl of corn flakes I had for a snack. Damn. Was mighty tasty at the time, though...

BUT! I had an excellent workout today in Rusty's class. He was screaming at us at the end of class, pushing us to a level of higher intensity in the last brutal circuit. While the class is a challenge and exhausting, I'm definitely much more conditioned than I was, and am often finishing many of the exercises on top. I'd post more details about it, but my head's pounding since the class finished and I can't really remember anything, haha.

Another PR for me today: did a TGU with a 24kg with solid form, and it was on my weak (left) side. That's pleasing to me. :) I love growing stronger -- deliciousness.

By the way, I think it should be normal behavior to go out and do primitive acts on the night of a full moon -- y'know, like frolicking through the woods or howling at the moon or hunting things with your bare hands. Whatever it is, you'd definitely have to be naked doing it, too. Totally not strange.

Hrmph.

2008-10-15T20:55:00.000-07:00

Definitely fell off the wagon there for a couple of days. >=[ My two sisters came to town for a surprise visit, and that was that. I haven't eaten horribly, but it hasn't been as clean as I've wanted. I've had a few very good workouts, but there just doesn't seem to be time in some of these days to fit it in -- which is definitely not true. I need to make time.

Ate very clean today, though I didn't get the workout in due to the hectic school schedule and a massage to give. Tomorrow will be another clean day though, and Rusty's class in the evening.

At Monday night's kettlebell class, I swung an 80 lbs. kb x 40 after the workout. I was pleased :) I'll need to try it fresh next time. I'm sort of curious how many times I could swing the beast... too bad there isn't one readily available.

The new snatch standards for the RKC Cert. Snatch Test look good. My initial reaction when I saw the modified rules was that it would be way easier, until I saw the increase in reps. Definitely doable, you just need the stamina and a lot of determination.

Not much to say

2008-10-11T21:01:00.000-07:00

Well, nothing much to report today. My back in the lumbar and thoracic regions is very sore from yesterday's workout, as are the traps. I ate pretty decent today, though I must admit that I allowed myself to have a little bit of a cheat day -- my sister's in from out of town, which really doesn't mean anything diet-wise, but I was pretty good overall.

I woke up feeling kind of crappy physically this morning, was really nauseous all day, which wasn't fun during 3 hours of giving massages... it was fine, though. I ended up taking the day easy, and I'm still not feeling very good, but I'm going to get a workout in tomorrow - the Gymboss came, which means grad workout is on the horizon! That also means I need to start gearing up towards V02 stuff...

Today felt like autumn -- I LOVED it. The sun was warm, but the air was cool and crisp, and there was a chill breeze much of the day. Perfect day for a hike, hopefully there'll be more like it in the near future!

I hope everyone's well. Cheers.

On track

2008-10-10T14:27:00.000-07:00

All right, so far so good. Yesterday's intake was 100% clean -- Standard breakfast of 4 egg whites with a little feta cheese mixed in, 1/4 cup oatmeal and an apple. For lunch, had some lightly cooked ahi poke and lettuce with tomatoes, no dressing. Then had Rusty's strength and conditioning class -- last night was BRUTAL, my abs literally gave out on my doing hot potatoes with a 16kg at the end of class they were so shot -- after that, ate at Natural Cafe and had some vegetables with chicken and a little bit of brown rice.

Doing well with food today, too. Surprisingly I'm not sore at all today minus a twinge in my abs from the workout last night, so I'm planning on going to the gym in the next 3o minutes to do a deadlift routine, and I'll probably work on shoulders, too. It's been awhile since I've done deadlifts, my max when I last tested it was 255 lbs. -- we'll see where I'm at now. =) I'll post the workout later.

EDIT: Here's how the workout went:

Deadlifts:
185 lbs., 5 sets: 5, 5, 4, 5, 5
205 lbs., 3 sets: 3, 3, 3
235 lbs., 1 set: 0
I got the weight all the way up and locked out on this one, but my back curved a little bit halfway up, so I'm not counting it.

So my strength has gone down a bit in the deadlift, but nothing I can't regain quickly.

A little bit of shoulder stuff too:

Pull ups, BW: 1, 1, 1
Bench press, barbell, 95 lbs, 3 sets: 2, 2, 1
Wide grip isometric pull ups: 5
Military Barbell press, 60 lbs., 5 sets: 6, 6, 5, 5, 5
Turkish Get-up w/ 30 lbs. DB: 1 on each side (shoulders were tired at this point)

Bench press has always been something I've avoided. It's been at least 4 months since I last did it... which is why it's so surprising that I'm benching that number, considering my max has only ever been 100 lbs. Haha! That's going to change so fast.

Good stuff! Have a good one, peoples.

Commitment to myself.

2008-10-08T19:06:00.000-07:00

All right.

I've had these resolutions before, and it's been awhile since I've resolved to make them public to the extent of keeping a public journal on it, but here it goes.

I want to reach my physical goals. I've made huge strides, but I'm not where I want to be. So until November 9th -- for the next month to start with, anyway -- I'm going to make daily updates about what I've eaten, and what workout I've done. I'm going to eat STRICTLY to my metabolic typing -- mixed, at this point -- and eat CLEAN. There aren't any birthday or anything like that coming up, so there's no excuse to not be on top of this! My schedule is pretty damn busy and full, but this is my health and my happiness, and it needs to happen whether it's easy or not -- and it's never easy.

No one else is going to make things happen but me, and that's how it should be.

Some short and long term fitness-related goals that I have for myself:

-Get RKC Certified in August, 2009.
-Train for the RKC Cert. I plan on doing a damn good job of roasting that beast and eating it whole.
-Snatch the 24kg 20 times with each arm. I'm at 9 right now.
-Barbell Deadlift 285 lbs. After that, 300 lbs.
-Cut. I've made a lot of progress, but I keep hitting this plateau. My diet keeps slipping back into maintenance. Outline of the abs ain't enough -- I want the whole package!
-Increase shoulder and chest strength. Everything else tends to get stronger without any problem and I maintain that strength, but these two areas need particular attention -- so they'll be getting it.
-15:15 Max V02 Protocol.
-Master the pistol.
-Incorporate more pull-ups into my routine.

So there it is! This is happening.

Strength and conditioning with Dr. Rusty Smith

2008-10-03T16:56:00.000-07:00

Last night's strength and conditioning class was a tough one. I was feeling pretty out of it physically and mentally since all I've had this week was school, homework, studying, sleep, repeat cycle. However, class rocked, and I felt a lot better after.

With no rest, minus to get water to drink:

-Started with some stretches and circulations to open up the neck, shoulder, core, hip flexors, groin, ankles.
-Easier version of tiger crawls for 20 yards.
-Inch-worm with leg raise, 20 yards.
-A & B skips, 20 yards each.
-Side shuffles, 20 yards each.
-Side skips, 40 yards.
-Crossovers, 40 yards.
-Reach-over lunges, 20 yards each leg.
-Tiger crawls, hard version, 20 yards.
-Frog crawls? I have a feeling he made this up on the spot... nice for opening up the groin, though. 20 yards.
-Walking lunges with 12 kg kettlebell in the rack, 20 yards each arm.
--Now it starts: Stability ball & kettlebell mix-up (no rest):
-20 swings with a 24 kg, two-handed.
-Russian twists on the stability ball, using a 12 kg kettlebell.
-8 chest presses with a 12 kg kettlebell with back on the stability ball
-20 swings one-handed, 10x10 RL with 24 kg
-10 standing military press with 12 kg kettlebell
-20 swings alternating one handed, 10x10 RL with 24 kg
-10 body-weight squats.
-8 chest presses with a 12 kg kettlebell with back on the stability ball
-20 pikes on the stability ball: Push-up position with toes on the ball, pull the ball in towards your arms by raising up hips.
-30 swings with 24 kg, two-handed.
-10 slingshots in either direction
-30 seconds of push up position belly-slaps.
-10 swings with 24kg kettlebell, two-handed.
-10 ass-to-the-grass body weight squats
-30 seconds of jumping jacks.
-20 swings, 24 kg kettlebell.
-10 Supermans/womans on stability ball.
-20 swings two-handed, 16 kg kettlebell.
-8 standing military press with 12 kg kettlebell.
-20 swings two-handed, 16 kg kettlebell.

DONE! This took an hour. I'm pretty sure I forgot a few things in there.

Kick my ass and call me a sweaty puddle of triumph.

Something to remember

2008-10-01T12:06:00.001-07:00

"Nothing can hurt you -- only you can allow something to hurt you."

--Matt Lynch, fucking fantastic human being with more knowledge about the body than anyone I've ever met -- also the Sports Massage teacher.

It's a great point.

I don't like titles

2008-09-30T11:50:00.001-07:00

Trivium - 'Pull Harder on the Strings of Your Martyr'

Definitely wanting to see a great metal show! I just looked up the Wall of Death on YouTube... RIDICULOUS!

I'm so damn grateful for the people in my life that see that there's something to pursue in life, that it's not about getting through the week so everyone can get cronked on the weekend. I don't want to judge anyone, anyone can do whatever they want to their bodies, but I can't give my approval when it's expected of me if I think what you're doing is absolute shit. Just chit-chatting in class with nearby classmates, it's all about how drunk you got, or the new iPhone, or the new pair of face-encompassing glasses you bought, or bagging on your boyfriend/girlfriend. Not that I'm bagging on making some purchases, just use moderation and know that it's not what it's all about. Or saying because you don't feel like writing a paper, you definitely have ADD and should be on Aderol. Huh!? I just don't understand most people my age anymore. Where did the pride in self, the intent of action, the self drive and motivation, the ambition, the need to know and learn, disappear to?

But anyway. I did a great sprint workout on Sunday with Tim and his co-worker, and kettlebell class was great as always last night. We did about 120 yards of the grad. workout towards the end, and I was really feeling the rhythm of it and powering through. I can feel how much stronger I've gotten, and I absolutely love it. I also love seeing other people make strides and take pride in that. My friend, who's never done any form of weight-lifting or training before, couldn't press the 18 lbs. hardly once on her left side when she began classes about a month ago. Now she can do it for reps, and is so excited about making further advancements and strength gains. I wish all of the people I knew would be infected like this!!

Gonna take it easy today, I've had some muscle cramps that need to let go today. Tomorrow is going to be an intense kettlebell workout though.

I also start Sports Massage class tonight! It's going to make the schedule a little crazy, but I'm so looking forward to it.

This is a random note, but I really don't know what I want to do with my life, and I'm at the point where I really wish I had a clear idea. I know I want to help people, hands on. I've thought of medical school, nursing, and more recently, osteopathy -- holistic medicine. That appeals to me a lot, but there's some other aspect I want. I want to make huge changes for people and the world in some way, and I want to figure out the best way I can do that on many levels. I'm just waiting for it to dawn on me as I keep foraging ahead.

You are all fantastic people. Thank you for nothing more than being who and what you are!

Productivity

2008-09-26T14:42:00.000-07:00

So:

Life is perspective. It's going to be a certain way if your mindset is bent to that angle, which can either be a positive or negative one.

I've been quite busy lately, but I'm finding that I've been just fine with that. Today was the first day in just shy of two weeks where I actually was able to sleep in, and that's because I skipped my class this morning. I've really been feeling pretty good about all of the busyness, though; I'm making everything my own and so I can't be a victim to it. Doing great in school, great with fitness--aside from this last week, I must say I was a little bit off the ball--great with taking steps forward instead of back.

I went on a hike yesterday and then went to Rusty's strength and conditioning class, which KICKED ASS! It was only women funnily enough, but he didn't go any easier on us which we all appreciated. The last set was an absolute beast, and we were all curled up on the ground at the end with Rusty standing overheard, laughing. So good!

I also did a short kettlebell workout today also, all with a 16kg:

20 swings

10 MP each arm

20 swings

4 Turkish Get-ups either side

20 swings

15 snatches each arm

20 swings

5 Windmills either side

20 swings

Feeling pretty awesome. Got a lot of research to do, but I'm going to hit the beach first. Hope everyone's doing fantastically!

Holy ****!

2008-09-21T13:03:00.000-07:00

I've been attending this Compressive Deep Tissue workshop this weekend, which is where I learn how to step on people and make them hurt in nice ways that open up their bodies.

But holy crap! I've noticed lately that my hips and quads are just freakin' solid, and I've noticed how it affects how I walk. Well, my partner yesterday completely opened up my hips, and my feet, which have deviated laterally when I lay on my back for years, are now much more as they should be! (Toes pointed towards the sky) And today she worked on my quads, particularly my rector femoris, and wow... I can withstand a lot of physical pain, but that just about pushed me over the edge. After working for 20 minutes on my left quad alone, there was still one portion that would not budge and was almost making me writhe. When I stood up, my quads just felt shredded and so sore, but were immensely looser than they had been, and it really translated into my gait. AMAZING stuff! I think my quads are so tight because I tend to use my quads and TFL for hip flexion as opposed to using my psoas, which is what we're supposed to do. We also learned deep compressions on the TFL and psoas, which often get adherred and cause lower back pain. Super interesting.

Whew. x_x

Bizarre

2008-09-16T21:08:00.000-07:00

In Flames is an awesome band. That said, this music video for their song "The Mirror's Truth" is one of the weirdest music videos I've ever seen:

The day was really busy, had an early morning, went to school and gave a couple of massages. All in all though, a great day. I bought a kettlebell last night for my friend who's really wanting to workout more but doesn't have access to workout equipment or the money for it. Oh, and he's become totally obsessed with kettlebells since Tim and I introduced him to it. Can't wait till it gets here and I get to see his reaction! It's sort of a late birthday present. What better gift to give than fitness!

Purty pleased

2008-09-15T22:38:00.000-07:00

My feet are filthy, the callouses on my hands are raw, my muscles are sore and tired, and my head is full of stimulating thoughts on academics and excitement for life.

Perfect. =)